The X-Men are not Cobalt Man's first choice of opponent.
Good as Gold Editing: Stan Lee
Solid Silver Scripting: Roy Thomas
Platinum-Plated Pencilling: Werner Roth
Iridium-Bright Inking: John Tartaglione
Lead-Lined Lettering: Sam Rosen
Originally Published April 1967
To congratulate the X-Men on their recent string of modest victories, Professor X has given them yet another weekend off, and Bobby, Warren and Hank are all pretty excited to hit the town., while Cyclops prefers to indulge in his favourite pastime, sulking wistfully. Personally, if I were one of the X-Men, anytime I heard we were getting a day off, I would just say "That's fine, I'll just stay here" It just feels like less of a hassle since you know there's gonna be some bad guy to deal with anyway.
But in truth, the Professor has his own mysterious reasons for wanting the house empty this weekend, so much so that he decides to play cupid and send Scott to return Jean those books on Ancient Mesoamerican Civilizations they borrowed way back when they were fighting El Tigre. Wait, weren't those from the library? They must be way overdue.
At Metro College, Jean is finally given a chance to meet Ted Robert's enigmatic brother Ralph, who engages in a little one-upmanship with his brother Ted, challenging him to a pole-vaulting competition (as you do) which leads to him suffering a nasty bonk to the noggin. Don't worry, this isn't the sort of thing that usually leads to someone becoming a supervillain a few hours later, I'm sure.
Ralph is a super-scientist, recently having left a position at Stark Industries (with Anthony Stark, the famous millionaire industrialist playboy?) to start his own lab, very enterprising this Ralph, it's easy to see why Ted is jealous of him. Ralph grants Ted, Jean and Scott a tour of his facility (Warren having bailed upon deciding abruptly that pursuing Jean is starting to feel like a waste of time) and unveils his secret project: a Cobalt version of the Iron Man suit, which he plans to sell to the Government.
So Ralph puts his Cobalt armor suit on and immediately starts to suffer the effects of post-concussion syndrome, becoming obsessed with destroying Iron Man, anybody who attempts to stop him from destroying Iron Man, anyone who says the name "Iron Man" and anyone who is standing near him when he's thinking about how much he hates Iron Man.
Not great, Ralph. It also doesn't bode well that he explains that keeping the suit active for over two hours turns it into a walking Cobalt bomb (a real thing.) I feel like that's an issue that needs to be addressed before the government will pay money for this.
The newly-minted Cobalt Man embarks on his quest, shrugging off an attempt by Cyclops and Marvel Girl to take him out, and destroying his lab with them (and Ted) inside. (They survive.)
Jean and Scott contact Professor X, who is a bit busy toiling in his lab, but he passes the message along to Bobby and Hank, who of course are on a date with Vera and Zelda (and seriously, there's something wrong with these girls that they keep agreeing to go out with these knuckleheads who are constantly bailing.)
They, and Warren, rendezvous with the Cobalt Man (and Ted, Jean and Scott) at Stark Industries, where Iceman freezes the Cobalt Man's C-bomb costume to defuse it and Ralph claims not to remember any of the last two hours.
Sure, Ralph. We'd all like to forget our delusional murderous episodes but life doesn't work like that.
Further Thoughts:
Truthfully, I think the Cobalt Man's tale is a fable of hubris at its purest: not just the hubris that thinking because you invented something means you are the master of it, but in thinking you can win a pole-vaulting competition when you're like five years out of practice just to embarrass your brother.
It's a little disappointing that the big secret that Ted was constantly on the verge of revealing is simply that Ralph is a really smart guy who worked for Tony Stark, and he feels a little insecure about living up to that. It's perfectly human, of course, but it's far from dramatic.
I complain about the cheesiness of the X-Men constantly taking a weekend off and then immediately running into trouble, but their fleeting moments of playtime are always some of the most fun bits in these comics. This issue also provides us a new ancillary character for the X-Men's orbit, mercifully ending the Scott-Warren-Jean love triangle once and for all (come on, nobody really believed Ted Roberts had a chance, did they?)
We meet Candy Sothern, an old prep school friend of Warren's, who frequents Go-Go clubs where they play three-month-old Monkees hits (because it was likely the latest chart-topper when the issue was being written) while lampshading the song's obvious staying power.
They also show the teens listening to Bob Dylan's epochal dance hit "Like a Rolling Stone" from 1965. Of course, nothing beats the song that Hank dances to with Vera: the 1966 Lovin' Spoonful hit, "Bongety Bong Bom."
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