The X-Men get the Subterranean Homesick Blues when they are drafted into a war between the Mole Man and Tyrannus.
First of all, I would like to say "War -- In a World of Darkness!" is definitely one of the most underrated Megadeth albums.
The X-Men are busy repairing Cerebro, which was damaged by Professor X's captors last issue. Or rather, Beast and Cyclops are busy with the repairs. Since Iceman and Angel are not, as Scott and Hank are, licensed and bonded Cerebro Repairmen, they are sent to bed against their wishes, under threat of telekinetic spanking from Jean. I know that sentence seems like a really bad crude joke or an exaggeration, but honestly that is textually what happens.
Jean returns to school, where she is immediately contacted by her friend, the Cheryl Blossom to Cyclops and Warren's Betty and Veronica, Ted Roberts. Following their misadventure with the Cobalt Man in #31, Ted may or may not be aware that Jean is Marvel Girl (not that her outfit particularly hides it.)
His brother Ralph, who is just one bonk on the head away from becoming the Murder-Iron-Man-Obsessed Cobalt Man, has had a breakthrough with his Cobalt research lately, and it has not gone unnoticed... by Tyrannus, the Shirtless Ruler of an underground kingdom of monsters.
I've never been Ted's biggest fan, so watching him get bwok'd in the face is a pretty nice treat.
There's actually some nice follow-through here, since Ralph mentioned in his earlier appearance that he planned on using his Cobalt Ship to mount expeditions to the center of the Earth. Careful what you wish for and all that.
Using Ralph's ship, Marvel Girl, Iceman and Angel travel to the center of the Earth to try to track down Ralph and his Chesty Captor, but encounter someone else: the Fantastic Four's foe, the Mole Man.
I've always had affection for the Mole Man, since I had a reprint of Fantastic Four #1 as a kid. He's such a non-special person to be a supervillain, a bittered, weird-looking guy who was tired of being made fun of for his looks that he ran away and discovered an underground ecosystem of monsters he could command and use to wreak havoc on the surface world. In comic book historical terms, his existence is cited as a transition between the Marvel Monster Mags of the 1950's and the burgeoning Marvel Superhero Universe. In practical terms, he's a nutter in funny shades.
He and Tyrannus are at war - he claims to only want to rule the underground, but that Tyrannus wants to make war on the surface. The X-Men don't buy his song and dance and they fight, but then something amazing happens.
The Mole Man leads the X-Men to the River Lethe - the river of forgetfulness from Greek Mythology, which apparently actually exists under New York (and not, say, Greece.) The Amnesiac Slave X-Men agree to side with Mole Man in the War for Earth's Mantle, which also involves, you guessed it - giant robots!
Mole Man's robot is slick, inspired by Fritz Lang's iconic German silent film Metropolis and coated with diamond. Tyrannus' is made to look like a Roman Centurion and covered in Ralph Roberts' Cobalt Alloy. However, as pretty much always happens, Tyrannus is undone when his captive engineer Ralph Roberts sabotages his robot to explode when Angel throws mud at it.
I feel like there's a recurring lesson about Human Resources to be learned in these comics, if you think about how many of the villain's plans are undone by their underlings' treachery or incompetence, rather than actual heroics.
Before he can execute Ralph for his treachery, Angel, Marvel Girl and Iceman pursue Tyrannus at their master's behest. Cyclops and Beast, who have been trailing them, arrive on the scene, take Mole Man captive and use his Amnesia-Reversing Ray Gun on their friends to end the conflict the only way they know how.
Xavier would be proud.
Further Thoughts:
This X-Cerpt is brought to you by... Memo Pads!
The plot is a little kooky, but the last thing I wanted to do with this write-up was go heavy on the "Can You Believe This Shit??" commentary because we are 34 issues into the X-Men's 60's run - just past the halfway marker as of last week actually - and you pretty much have to believe it all. The amnesia, the giant robots, the new aircraft the X-Men already have after throwing their helicopter at Juggernaut last month.
I actually think this is one of the best issues I've written about yet. It was a blast, not despite but because of the silly 1960's stuff all over it. Because modern-day comics, even the fun ones, must be written with six layers of ironic detachment and awareness, it's hard to get something so heedlessly, recklessly silly and yet completely enjoyable.
The plot, spurred by the kidnapping of someone the X-Men have met before, for reasons related to that meeting, makes internal sense. Both Mole Man and Tyrannus are pre-existing characters so they didn't need to be hastily drawn up to fit the story, and their rivalry is easy to establish. The chase brings the X-Men to an exotic locale, and invoking Greek Mythology helps explain the River Lethe, the amnesia, and the temporary alliance with Mole Man and all that follows. It's silly and weird, but it's primarily for kids, not overthinking adults. And even though we've seen the X-Men fight seven or eight unique giant robots since the beginning, these ones stand out by virtue of looking cool as hell.
I admire guest artist Dan Adkins' work in this story - his style fits more neatly with Werner Roth's than Jack Sparling did a few issues ago, while still managing to have some unique layouts and dynamic action. He excels in the early quiet moments of drama even moreso: image of civilian Jean Grey up there on the phone is the most human and three-dimensional she has looked in the book's 34 issues to date, although the art is weirdly shadowy, especially in the early, above-ground scenes, making it probably more moody than the bright, sunny, primary-colour superhero action requires.
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