UNCANNY X-MEN #18: If Iceman Should Fail--!

Iceman must stand alone against the might of a returning Magneto, who will stop at nothing to birth his own race of mutant superslaves!




A Fair Story by: Stan Lee
Adequate Art by: Jay Gavin
Tolerable Inking by: Dick Ayers
World's Greatest Lettering by: Artie Simek (Marvel's birthday boy of the month!)
Originally published March 1966

This issue begins with a pretty enticing premise. All of the X-Men, except for Iceman, have been captured by a returning Magneto and placed in a (checks notes) solid metal hot air balloon gondola, doomed to float upward until they run out of oxygen and/or drift endlessly into space. On top of that, Magneto has also taken captive Angel's parents, Mr. & Mrs. Warren Worthington II, who had wanted to pop in and visit their son at school, despite the headmaster's explicit request that they not do so. Blithe one-percenters, bah.

The only thing standing between Magneto and total domination of the human race is Bobby "Iceman" Drake, who was last seen babbling deliriously about his insecurities from a hospital bed where he lies in critical condition. Bobby receives a life-saving injection via (checks notes) a supersized laser injector gun designed to pierce his icy skin, enabling him to rejoin the fray at the Professor's telepathic behest.

There is a lot going on in this issue and I am into it.

The trapped X-Men come to and work on escaping Magneto's trap. I really do wish these foes would stop going to all the trouble of concocting these elaborate death traps and then not sticking around to make sure they have the desired effect.

Back on terra firma, at the X-Mansion, Magneto plots his most fiendish plot yet. He is going to force the Worthingtons to go to bed and make babies.

Wait, let me rephrase that.

Since the Worthingtons are the parents of one mutant already, their genetic code has the potential to create more. But why leave that to chance? So he builds this machine that will cherry pick their genes so that he can create an army of mutant slaves, while they are under a hypnotically-induced sleep.

Simplicity itself!

To be fair, the comics code probably would not have permitted Marvel to depict Magneto forcing the Worthington's into actual lovemaking, and to be more fair, one look at the Worthington's suggests this may have been how Warren was conceived to begin with

While the X-Men work on escaping their deathtrap, the Prof scans Magneto's mind to learn how he escaped from the Stranger. It turns out he was left behind with Toad on a prison planet, which featured a convenient "spaceship graveyard." Using his magnetic powers, he reactivated one and made his way home - kicking Toad out in the harshest way possible.

You can always tell a person's true character by how they treat the help.

Iceman arrives and stalls Magneto long enough for the X-Men to return and bring the fight to the Master of Magnetism, who blames his previous failures on flawed allies (he has a point.) The two sides are fairly evenly matched, but the X-Men are not known for their ability to close the deal, so Professor makes his most daunting long-distance psychic phone call ever and reveals: The Stranger!

The one being who is more than a match for Magneto arrives and chases him away, leaving him to an ambiguous fate. The X-Teens are left to entertain the Worthingtons, who are more or less unaware of what has happened.

Further Thoughts:

You have to admit, as un-glamorous as it is, this two-parter is a strong contender for Magneto's best effort yet. After fifteen or so consecutive defeats at the hands of the X-Men - usually by means of slipping on a banana peel - he manages to take them out one by one, put them in a fairly convincing if overly-lax deathtrap, and nearly execute his vision of super-strong mutant slaves. Even when it's down to the wire, it's only by summoning the Stranger, to play the role of intergalactic deus ex machina, that the X-Men can chase Magneto off for good. So it goes.

I would have liked Iceman to appear as more of an MVP in this issue, as promised by the cover, but he does get some good moments in and is ultimately the one responsible for foiling Magneto's clone slave army machine.