Monday, August 28, 2017

UNCANNY X-MEN #33: Into the Crimson Cosmos!



The X-Men pay a call on Dr. Strange to learn how to stop an Unstoppable foe!




Originally published June 1967



 
When we last left off, the X-Men were beaten to the point of near death by the Juggernaut, who was  promptly paged by the ominous voice of Factor Three, requesting his presence in Europe by way of stolen transatlantic jet. Thus, our heroes are fortunately alive, but with a problem: how are they to defeat an already-unstoppable Juggernaut with the added benefit of having Professor X's mind-reading powers, when their Professor is comatose and they have proven themselves to be, let's face it, consistently below-average at superheroing without him in the past 31 issues?



By using Professor X's mental wave amplifier (previously seen when he was last rendered comatose by Lucifer) they learn that the Crimson Gem of Cyttorak, which is the source of Juggernaut's powers, was once guarded by a demon named Xorak, who was defeated by Dr. Strange's mentor the Ancient One (in non-Tilda Swinton form.)



So apparently this mental wave amplifier can see through time, sure.

Strange appears, via his ghostly astral form, to advise the X-Men on how to deal with a mystical enemy. He can send two X-Men (and only two) into the heart of Cyttorak to retrieve its prototype which will somehow have a reverse Juggifying effect on Cain Marko. Each of the X-Men volunteer (probably sensing that this mission is preferable to being punched repeatedly by the Juggernaut, as most things are) but Cyclops chooses himself and Marvel Girl for the mission - wondering privately if this is because she is the best candidate for the job, or because of his feelings for her.


I am not in any way being flippant when I say that I love it when the minor teenage soap operatics of the X-Men have any bearing whatsoever on the plot.

So Jean and Scott go to Korea, where they enter the Crimson Cosmos of Cyttorak and meet the menacing Xorak, who is trying hard to rebrand himself as "Outcast" even though Xorak is a pretty cool name. All while the other three X-Kids do everything they can to stall the Juggernaut, including but not limited to tipping their helicopter onto him with the rotors still going (hardcore.)



Scott and Jean have exactly one hour to defeat Xorak and get the prototype or else be stuck in the Crimson Cosmos. They realize that he's stuck in a time loop while they are aware of its passage. So Jean does the obvious thing and throws her ticking watch at him so that he becomes aware of time's passage - or something - and it destroys him.



With the prototype in hand, Cyke and Marvel Girl rejoin their teammates and banish Juggernaut to the Crimson Cosmos.



Unfortunately, when they return, they find that the Professor is missing! It turns out the whole episode with the Juggernaut was just a diversionary tactic by Factor Three so they could resume their efforts to kidnap him! That's great, but why didn't they just have the Juggernaut kidnap Professor X in the first place?

Further Thoughts:


I like the Juggernaut as a foe for the X-Men - he's an opponent you casn never beat physically, so the writers must devise some other creative out for the story. This one gets points for not just being a retread of the "remove his helmet" plot, since he now has the mental powers. That said, it doesn't really follow through on the promise of "Juggernaut with Xavier's Powers" since Juggy never figures out that the X-Men are there just to distract him while Cyclops and Marvel Girl do something else.

But I guess it's believable that Juggernaut wouldn't immediately be pro at using Xavier's powers. He just got them today.


The Xorak thing... well, that happened. I like the X-Men having to go into the Crimson Cosmos, and especially since it didn't involve Dr. Strange doing it for them or even leading the way - the thing with the watch almost kinda-sorta makes sense but could've been a little less clumsy.

All in all, I would say this was a pretty successful outing. The X-Men's ongoing issue with Factor Three is never going to reach the heights of the Fantastic Four's Galactus three-parter or their own Dark Phoenix Saga down the line, but for the X-Men's 60's run it's actually one of the better stories: it plays out in long form, a modest step toward the neverending soap opera the book would become under writer Chris Claremont in the 1970's and 80's - the X-Men are up against a mysterious foe who seems to have their number, and doesn't mind using methodical techniques to get to them, rather than going all in on a onetime crazy plan like Magneto would.

The stories and characters are still paper-thin, but you have to appreciate the accomplishments it was capable of wherever you can.

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