The X-Men need to scrounge up some plane fare for their trip to Europe!
Having determined that Factor Three is hiding out in Europe, the X-Men are determined to rush in and save the day, defeating this mysteirous threat and rescuing their mentor, Professor X. Only there's a problem they have never had to contend with before.
Okay.
It's jarring to say the least, to see the X-Men, who have been known to wreck an aircraft or two, have trouble with transportation, but Roy Thomas does his best to assure us this premise is on the level, showing that jet fuel isn't always easy to come by, and that the X-Men don't have access to Professor X's bank account, or anything that would enable them to take out a loan. That seems a bit short-sighted on his part, but whatever, this is the premise we're going with.
There's actually a bit of precedent here, since the X-Men took a commercial steamer the last time they needed to go to Europe (and are in a much bigger hurry now.) But yikes.
Now, realistically, there's probably a bit of deconstruction going on here, where fan-turned-writer Roy Thomas sits and thinks "You know, we make it very easy for our heroes to go about their business, but what would happen if they were tripped up by everyday logistics?" And there's some raw material there, but it comes off a bit half-baked, especially when you add in the later parts of the issue.
Scott, Warren and Jean offer their services to a construction site, where Thomas and artist Ross Andru come up with some intriguing ways that wings, eyebeams and telekinesis, could be of use, but the three X-Men are rejected because they lack Union Cards. (Magneto is a cinch but no way they're taking on a 1960's Trade Union.)
To add to the indignity, their car (the Professor's Rolls Royce~!) is impounded and they have to carpool with a rando named Tom Regal to where the Village, where the Beast and Iceman have put on a busking display for a delighted crowd.
As for Tom Regal, well, he has a giant flashing neon sign over his head saying "I AM THE BAD GUY" so only the heroes are confused when a thug in green tights and an exo-skeleton shows up to wreck the place. Specifically, he seems to have a vendetta against the newly-constructed library.
There's a moment where he claims to be in league with the X-Men, but that gives way pretty quickly. He gives the team the runaround, but his gimmick - punching and jumping assisted by his exosuit - wears out when he tries to make his getaway.
As it turns out, Mekano is (gasp!) Shifty Tom Regal, the son of the wealthy philanthropist who donated the library, and the entire purpose of the stunt is to get some attention and lash out at his dad for always giving his attention to charitable causes but not (sob) his own son!
Rather than feeling livid that his son turned out to be a domestic terrorist causing massive property damage to settle his own Oedipal issues, Mr. Regal feels humbled and resolves to be a better dad, thanking the X-Men by agreeing to bankroll their trip to Europe (the X-Men insist it's only a loan, and will repay him when Professor X has been rescued.)
And with that, they are on their way to Europe!
Further Thoughts:
All right gang. In the several months that I have been performing this very necessary endeavour, there is one thing that has become abundantly clear about 1960's X-Men comics:
They are not going to all be winners.
However, what compels me, what moves me, why I take heart in this utterly burdensome life, is that it can be very fascinating how exactly these stories manage to not be winners... and maybe sometimes in the process moving the goalposts to determine whast exactly a winner is.
I don't ask for a lot. I really don't! I praised the Locust story, with its silly "Egomaniac giant bug scientist" premise, because it landed on just the right side of kooky. I lauded the issue a few weeks ago when three of the X-Men huffed some magic river fumes and became amnesiac slave henchmen of the Mole Man. I am totally on board for some of the craziest, flimsiest, and furthest out-there concepts. But this week's outing really tests me.
When I was a kid I used to write superhero spoof comics, often pitting the heroes against villains with unimpressive abilities, attempting borderline pointless crimes, for incomprehensible or irrational motives, and honestly, I couldn't have come up with a better package than Mekano. But this comic book for actual kids who want real heroes fighting was probably not the ideal place for a deconstructive moment.
I'll chalk it up to a creative misstep. Adding an element of reality to this highly stylized goofy crime fighting story makes it seem less real, not more.
Compare it to what else Marvel was doing at the time. When Spider-Man has money problems, you feel them, because his angst was very earned. When the X-Men do, it seems too contrived, too gimmicky, and the cheap solution (*after fighting one of their most ignoble foes yet) makes it all the worse.
I don't know. This was a silly thing and I am sad that I had to write about it.
Oh, and it begins with a cold open where the X-Men brainwash some crooks who just happened to bust into the X-Mansion, so we're up to ten or twelve brainwashings in the series' run so far.
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