UNCANNY X-MEN #156: Pursuit!

The X-Men jam it out in space!

Originally Published April 1982

We begin with... accountability!

Specifically, the New York City Cops are trying to hold the X-Men accountable for the wanton destruction of the big important construction site (they ain't too smart.) This occurred during their battle with Deathbird the rogue Shi'ar agent and her allies, the alien space leeches called the Brood.

Luckily, the newest Avenger, Tigra, is on hand to provide her credentials - when you're a card-carrying Avenger, destruction of property and general mayhem is sanctioned by the U.S. Government.

It's fortuitous timing - an editorial note informs us that in the proper Avengers comics, Tigra has already left the group, so this story takes place, um, before that.

Before any citations can be handed out, of course, the X-Men escape reprisal by being beamed aboard a passing spaceship, as tends to happen. Specifically, they've been brought aboard the Starjammer, home of the space-pirate crew of the same name, looking to pick up their Captain, Corsair, and any X-Men he happens to be hanging around with on Earth.

The last we heard, as recounted by Corsair, the Starjammers were in a heap o' trouble, being framed for a mass assassination and attempted coup of the Shi'ar Empire. Luckily, they wriggled their way out of that mess, apparently.

That's all well and good, but Colossus is still dying/basically dead of a nasty case of Spike-Through-Chest courtesy of Deathbird (the real kidnapper, assassin, and would-be usurper.). Luckily, the Starjammers have access to advanced Space Medicine that might - might - give Colossus a fighting chance to overcome the odds and, perhaps someday, make a full recovery.

Meanwhile, aboard the Shi'ar ship, Kitty and Nightcrawler are still being held as a deposit for Xavier until the real killer can be identified and brought to justice. Kitty continues to amuse herself with the Alien Costume Machine.

The two are shown footage of Colossus' injury by their jailer, Admiral Samedar, but cruelly, he offers no indication about Colossus' condition.

Samedar isn't just being callous due to a Super Spacey Lack of Appropriateness - it turns out he's actually evil and secretly in league with Deathbird, helping her plot to steal the throne of the Shi'ar!

The Professor awakens to find himself imprisoned in the same cell as Lilandra - which is quite courteous of Deathbird, all things considered - but the kidnapper arrives to taunt her prisoners.

Back on the Starjammer, where Corsair and Cyclops bond, as Cyclops' father recounts the full story of how he lost your mother: as we know, the Summers' plane was attacked by a Shi'ar scout ship looking for random organisms for their intergalactic zoo (as you do if you're a conquering spacefaring civilization.) The couple pushed their sons to safety as the plane burned, but were themselves abducted as they watched their sons' parachute burn and seemingly perish. From there, Cyclops' mother was made a sex-slave of Emperor D'Ken (As always, ew to that.) Christopher fought he way to the Imperial Bedchamber to confront the mad emperor, who then killed his wife before his very eyes.

Christopher was sentenced to the "Star Pits" (no idea what that is) where he met his fellow future Starjammers - Ch'od, Hepzibah, and the other guy. They stole their ship and began their new lives as cool outlaws in space.

And the earring was because...?

Eventually, the Starjammer catches up with Deathbird. We see what kind of ship her allies the Brood get around in, and it's, well... it's somethin' all right:

That's right, homeboys fly around in a giant space whale! Love a giant space whale.

The Starjammer - dwarfed by this creature/ship - is forced to dock (in the baleen) and the Brood await their prey. But...

That's right, not only is Colossus all patched up, they've run him through the Shine-O Ball-O to get him ready for the next round. And he is pissed.

Amidst this bedlam, the X-Men and Starjammers have one of their classic philosophical debates as to the ethicality of murdering evil space tentacle-wasps that want to kill you.

Storm is against, pretty much everyone else is for.

The Brood play a nasty trick by disabling the gravity in their Space Whale Ship, momentarily disorienting the X-Men, until they can affix their artificial-gravity slippers. Elsewhere, Cyclops springs Xavier and Lilandra from their cell, and Xavier, feeling his oats, decides to get in on the action:

Cyclops chides him - Xavier hasn't exactly spent a ton of time practicing his right hook lately - and Xavier admits it was dumb. Dumb, yes, be admits, but romantic, and most importantly, badass and cool.

The X-Men fight their way out. Storm gets cornered by Deathbird, who makes a quick pitch to join forces, but Storm finds her offer specious. Amidst this, one of Deathbird's trademark Colossus-killing javelins gets lodged in the wall of the ship and Storm makes a startling deduction:

That's right, it doesn't just look like a Space Whale - this ship is alive! And it bleeds!

In the chaos, Storm is thrown out into space, but quickly rescued. The X-Men regroup aboard the Starjammer, where they get a startling update: the ship is damaged and will take 24 hours to repair. While that actually sounds pretty good for spaceship repair time, the problem is that the Earth is due to be destroyed in only six hours!

To be continued!

Further Thoughts

Maybe they can just call Chancellor Araki and tell him that Deathbird, the known rogue Shi'ar agent with ambitions of conquest is the one they want, and it has nothing to do with the insignificant, barely-developed planet Earth.

I'm not going to claim I understand exactly what Deathbird's plan is - I understand everything she has done so far but I'm not totally sure how it's supposed to end with her ruling the Shi'ar Empire. It's a lot of big, bold moves that are exciting to watch, but without the necessary politics and subterfuge. Kind of like the final seasons of Game of Thrones.

Still, if you don't think about it to hard, this one is a fun bust-em-up space adventure, even if Colossus was resurrected with shocking ease. We also don't get any special spotlight on the Starjammers and what they bring to the table besides "Being the X-Men's friends from space." I still think Cockrum was holding out hope they would be able to carry their own series where they could shine, but they never really showed that kind of juice.