UNCANNY X-MEN #168: Professor Xavier is a JERK!

Kitty must defend herself!

Originally Published April 1983

We begin with... well, the moment we've all been waiting for, which needs no introduction:

Yes, yes, yes, honey!

This panel is legendary for understandable reasons, and a favourite of mine for reasons we'll discuss later. Anyway, we all know the Professor is a Jerk, but why is Kitty so upset about it today?

As you'll recall, upon the X-Men's return to Earth, the Professor ruled it was a mistake to let Kitty go on missions with the grownup X-Men, given her youth and inexperience; she should join the New Mutants (who are not superheroes, just young people who study together, train in the use of their powers, wear matching costumes and occasionally get sucked into conflict with a homicidal villain completely by accident.) Kitty does not think this is fair, and given what we've seen she is capable of as an active-roster X-Man, she has a point to make.

Of course, she has chosen to vent to her friend Illyana, who recently escaped from spending half her life, losing her entire childhood, in a Daemonic Limbo as the student (and possibly, shudder, more) of Demon Lord Belasco. So of course she plays that card.

Now, that whole affair with Illyana happened just before the X-Men were absconded into space, so we haven't seen these two interact very much as contemporaries. Despite her whole Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt thing going on, Illyana has a lot of perspective and is wise beyond her years, making her a good foil for the also-advanced but prone to emotional outbursts Kitty. I just hope she isn't always playing that "grew up in a demon world" card. That could get old.

As they talk, and rush off to get the bus into town for dance class, they are unaware they are being watched...

Within the Mansion, Nightcrawler and Wolverine are having one of their classic dialogues, this time about the Professor's choice. Wolverine argues that it wasn't that long ago kids roughly Kitty's age were shipped off to war and expected to comport themselves as adults. Kurt's rebuttal is that "Ja, but a lot of them died." Poimt taken.

For the record, Kurt actually does believe Kitty has proven herself as an X-Man, but likes to see both sides of an issue. As always when these two  verbally spar, Logan gets to represent the side fans want to hear.

Also, Wolverine is headed off for a vacation to Canada, to get back in touch with his loner roots. I'm sure nothing noteworthy will occur while he's there.

Meanwhile, Professor Xavier has the Danger Room in gymnasium mode, looking to do a little bit of exercising on his new legs - the ones that are supposed to work, but don't.

Lilandra rushes to his aid and they discuss his phantom pain - the only way to block it out is to use the totality (focussed, I suppose) of his psychic powers.

Lil also drops the bomb that she is going back to space soon. She would have Charles by her side, but he knows his place is here with the X-Men and New Mutants. And thus are these two lovers ever - quite literally - star-crossed.

In dance class, Kitty is offbeat - the word is on the street that the fire in her heart is out.

Kitty takes the opportunity to vent to Stevie now about how frazzled this whole New Mutants thing has gotten her. Stevie encourages her to make her case and never relent, and Kitty resolves to do just that.

Illyana is nonplussed that Stevie managed to get through with the exact point she had been trying to make to Kitty for a week now, but sometimes it do be like that, where you can only hear the same advice you've already heard from a certain voice before it makes an impact. Besides, when we first came into it, Illyana's POV was more like "Just shaddap already, there's worse things in the world." So, who knows.

The next morning, Storm is out in the cold for her morning commune with nature, to replenish herself after her time away from Earth...

What's the story, morning glory?

Unfortunately, some chaotic weather brews up that Storm can't seem to control, much to her surprise and alarm!

Could it be that Storm has lost touch with Mother Earth? Or perhaps, herself? After everything she's been through lately, I wouldn't be surprised.

For days on end, Kitty tries every approach she can think of to convince Charles of her case...

Somewhat futilely...

But sadly all of this plying seems fruitless and Kitty remains with the "X-Babies."

Then one day, while initiating a homescan to see who all in the mansion she needs to make cider for, she detects an anomaly. She suits up in her New Mutants uniform to go check it out, as the Professor advises caution...

It's...

Yes! Kitty's pet dragon from Broodworld! He followed her home, isn't that adorable?? Can we keep him?

But sadly, he's not the only critter from deep space skittering in these catacombs.

That's right - more of these flicking Sidrian Hunters, from #154, over a year earlier. What are the odds that they had time to establish a nest during the fifteen minutes they were attacking the X-Mansion, and that that nest would survive the destruction of said mansion and also not be discovered while it was being rebuilt! What a coincidence!

Unfortunately, with her powers screwed up thanks to a Sidri blast, Kitty and the Dragon battle the aliens, with Kitty showing fighting prowess she has learned from Wolverine...

Unfortunately, she gets overwhelmed by the last one, looking to have no choice but to get zarked by the full force blast of a Sidrian eye beam...

Yes, the Professor had summoned Colossus earlier, and he arrived in the actual nick of time. Faster than a cannonball, that one. He manages to finish off the last Sidri...

Also, the Dragon has stolen away to go eat all the eggs he can find, thus definitively ending the threat.

Afterward in a conference with the Prof, Kitty convinces him to let them keep the dragon, since they were partially responsible for blowing up his home planet. His name of course is Lockheed after the fictional dragon from Kitty's Fairy Tale, which comes from the manufacurers of the Blackbird jet.

The Professor is also convinced, after "seeing" Kitty in action for the first time, that she has the right stuff to be a full-fledged X-Man in her own right, but with some conditions. If she screws up she's back to the minors, but tonight, she's a veritable rock & roll star.

Lastly, we check in with the Summers Men, having made it all the way to Alaska. They aren't greeted by their Grandparents, though, as they have sent a pilot to pick them up...

But there's something strange about this woman...

It couldn't be...

...Jean?

Sort of? If you squint?

To be continued!

Further Thoughts:

There. Is. A. Lot. Going. On. Here.

Pointedly, this is not your typical "cool down between big events" issue. This is a complete change of pace and tone, from where we were with Dave Cockrum as our regular artist, and even beyond quite how the book felt when John Byrne was drawing. Here we have an issue that features many simmering scenes destined to bloom into full-out plots and subplots, intercut really well apace, even as many of them just appear to be out heroes going about their business.

Whereas in the past, a story might have focussed on a villain of the week while using the human drama as a side attraction (the way Kitty's parents' divorce was our "in" to the first - and second - Dracula story) now that human drama is positioned as the primary thrust, and any physical conflict, in this case the threat of the Sidri - is merely a punctuation on that. This won't be the exact mix going forward, but the book will continue to tilt this way for some time.

That this story could begin with a big, bold image of Kitty proclaiming the Professor to be a JERK rather than some big "suck you in" action splash is a clear signal that we are now, at least currently, more "about" the inner lives of the characters than about thrills and suspense for their own sakes.

Full disclosure - when I was a kid first getting into the X-Men, I had the then-current mid-90's comics, but I also had two collected editions: The Dark Phoenix Saga, and a collection called "From The Ashes" that begins with this issue. At the time, I felt that by comparison, this stretch of issues was weirdly mundane and uninteresting, but over time and numerous re-reads (it was a book I had with me every summer when we would go on vacation to a trailer resort camp) its particular tone and technique took root in my heart.

As I have already done, I will chalk that up, at least in large part, to the presence of Paul Smith. Again, he is the artist of Uncanny X-Men for only a year of its lengthy run, but has a knack for imbuing characters with a vital third dimension, a way of laying out conversations and sequences that causes them to feel like real people acting in reality, and not staged action setpieces with intermittent talking heads. This issue is built out of a number of scenes of mundane things mixed with details of the superheroic lifestyle, and yet they are crafted perfectly to get their point across, whether it be Nightcrawler and Wolverine chatting in the vestibule, Kitty at Dance class, Xavier in the gym, or a battle against the Sidri. (the action in that scene, brief as it is, manages to rival the whole double-sized epic final confrontation with the Brood.)

Additionally, we have seen how writer Chris Claremont responds well to different artists collaborating with him - after an adjustment period, the writing felt different for Byrne than Cockrum, and this will continue to develop through a battery of future artistic contributors. To complement this development, his dialogue here feels more human and conversational than it had when the stories were more action-oriented.

As far as the plot goes, focussing on Kitty having something to prove to Professor X, it was simple and classical, but very effective. I wouldn't have minded seeing Kitty interact more with her supposed new teammates, who don't appear here at all, but I guess this book isn't actually called Uncanny New Mutants.

Also, Kitty gets a dragon for real, as I mentioned, in a follow-up to her Fairy Tale adventure, something that I'm sure Claremont couldn't resist once the idea occurred and he saw the opportunity stemming from the Brood story. This, to me, is the ultimate test of the X-Men's flexibility. I keep talking about how the story feels suddenly more three-dimensional and grounded but also one of the characters has a pet alien dragon. I don't know why this should be out of sync with a book where characters have psychic powers, control the weather, and battle alien monsters on the regular. On paper, it should disrupt the tone of the book (ever the critic, John Byrne did not enjoy sending the X-Men into space, feeling that territory belonged more to the Fantastic Four, despite drawing a story where one of the X-Men ate a sun.) But, Lockheed is so cure and adorable, it becomes a "just go with it" fun thing that adds to the rich landscape of the X-Men comics, rather than some kind of off-putting Great Gazoo thing. (Hey, why wouldn't an alien have visited prehistoric times? How is that weirder than having a seashell telephone or an elephant vacuum?) I mean, we already have Nightcrawler dating a Roma sorceress (who also briefly appears in this issue) so we know the limitations of this world are flexible.

Amidst all the various scenes, we also get Scott checking in one last time with Lee Forrester, his brief romantic fling over the past year. I liked Lee, although as a "regular human sailor character" she would have been an odd fit as an ongoing figure in the X-Men's adventures (without, say, getting the powers of some kind of ancient water goddess.)

Let's take a moment to reflect on Scott's unlikely nature as a romantic lead, far from his days of actively pushing Jean away because he was self-conscious about his inability to control his optic blasts. Jean has been dead for some time (about a year, as this is the fourth Christmas the X-Men have celebrated since 1975, and the second since Jean's death) and Scott can't seem to help but get involved with every random woman he sees. Which brings us to...

Yes, Madelyne Pryor. I know I have nothing but love for Paul Smith on this blog, but one weakness in his game is likenesses - part of the job of being a comic artist is drawing familiar characters in their familiar way. A few characters, like Kitty and Storm, look a little different, but can be identified. But it's hard to do a Jean Grey lookalike story when you have an artist drawing her unlike any Jean Grey we've ever seen. Not impossible, mind you, but there's a difference between "She's a redhead and she reminds me of Jean" and "Doppelganger" that the art doesn't quite land on the right side of. (The square, permed 80's hair doesn't help either.) In any case, I hope you're intrigued, because this will be playing out over a lengthy period as we learn exactly who Madelyne is and what she's about.