UNCANNY X-MEN #253: Storm Warnings!

Storm returns -- plus a bunch of other stuff!

Originally Published November 1989

We begin with an unexpected expected return:

Yes ma'am, we are in Cairo -- Cairo, Illinois, that is, on the banks of the Muddy Mississip', where a storm of Biblical proportions has been mysteriously whipped up, leading to a dangerous flood. And at the center of it all is a mysterious young lady who faints and is brought to the hospital by one Agent Jacob Reisz of the FBI (at which point the storm begins to subside.)

There, they discuss important things, like whether this child is black or not, based on her "unique" features. What that has to do with the amount or quality of care she receives, I shudder to think.

I've just been handed an update that confirms that yes, Storm is black, you weirdo.

Back in Australia, we check in with the real stars of the show...

Donald Pierce has the original Reavers -- Prettyboy, Skullbuster and Bonebreaker -- on his workbench, looking to fix them up after biting it in their scuffle with Wolverine.

Lady Deathstrike reports in that she has not found Wolverine, speculating that perhaps he's still hiding in the complex or has more than one accomplice. However, she may not be being entirely truthful .

Elsewhere, on Muir Isle, Magneto and Moira bicker over the way forward for Magneto's students, the New Mutants, who he seems to have lost track of whilst in his duties as the King of the Hellfire Club.

Magneto's point is that there is a war coming, the persecution of mutants will not end anytime soon, and so he is determined -- in what can only be referred to as a plan of the utmost cunning and foresight -- to make himself the chief target of the humans, once more taking the role of "arch villain" to give them an enemy to focus on to deflect attention from the other mutants just trying to live their lives.

Brilliant scheme, couldn't possibly go awry.

Back in Oz, Prettyboy debuts his new look...

And Deathstrike plays the role of Psylocke, going for a dip at all random times of the day, no matter how inappropriate.

Waiting for her there when she surfaces is Pierce, who discusses his motivation for hating mutants (because they're abominations or whatever, unlike cyborgs, which are cool) and trying to determine where, exactly would be Wolverine's next destination if he is on the run.

At Muir Isle, Banshee receives a distress call from a Freighter called Alhambra, where the crew seems to be going plum loco, perhaps having something to do with one of their passengers...

Before long, the ship capsizes and the entire crew seemingly with it, save for Lorna, who is rescued by...

That's right, after being on the sidelines for a full decade, Banshee is back in the game! But what could have done this to the crew of the Alhambra?

Nearby at Excalibur's Lighthouse Home, Amanda Sefton arrives looking for Nightcrawler, but only finds Brigadier Alysande Stuart, the Commanding Officer of the Weird Happenings Organization. It seems Amanda has arrived a little late -- tardy, as it were -- Excalibur has gone missing.

But, you know, we're not reading Excalibur, so maybe you can check in with the folks at Oh Gosh, Oh Golly, Oh Wow! for the story on that.

Instead, let's focus on somewhere in the American west, where Forge -- you remember Forge, don't you? Cheyenne, mustache, robot hand, shorts enthusiast -- is on a vision quest, and finds himself in a strange place... a Wild West Saloon with a (still bound-and-gagged) Australian Aborigine out front. And inside, another familiar face from many years past is waiting for him.

You may recall Mr. Farouk here from deep in Professor Xavier's backstory, but his fearsome psychic prowess was also explored in New Mutants as he briefly possessed, for instance, Xi'an Coy Manh, as The Shadow King.

Forge, however, is unconcerned with this master of darkness, instead noticing the caged woman behind him... or is that a caged girl?

Forge and Farouk -- who identifies himself as "A ghost, a demon, a nightmare" and appears to have FBI Agent Jacob Reisz as his other captive -- engage in a good old fashioned arm-wrestling contest. At stake: the freedom of Storm, versus control of Forge's form.

Just when it appears all is lost, Forge strikes Farouk with his bionic hand, shattering the illusion and bringing him back to reality, because, um, technology or something.

Back in Cairo, attending Dr. Shen phones Agent Reisz to voice her suspicions -- the girl he brought into the hospital may be a mutant. Reisz is of course happy to have been contacted, but there's something a little... off about this guy's vibe.

Lastly, we make one last stop in Australia where Pierce has summoned his squad for a debriefing (while Lady Deathstrike wears his cloak.) He has determined that it's likely Wolverine is headed for Muir Isle -- which, yes, is on the fully opposite side of the world, but trust me on this, it is very likely. And about the two people known to reside there, the former X-Man known as Banshee and the human scientist known as Moira MacTaggert, well, they may not be much of a threat, but the Reavers aren't known for shaking hands and kissing babies.

Joke's on you, we'll be back in one!

Further Thoughts:

This one was all over the place, just sort of a touchbase on a few different upcoming storylines, as we work to re-introduce Storm, as well as teeing up big plot points for Forge, Banshee, Polaris, Magneto, and Amahl Farouk -- the Shadow King, as well as Callisto, who is sent to New York by Moira with the purpose of sealing off the remains of Charles' mansion. None of it has much plot momentum, but sometimes you need to spend some time with the preliminaries.

The Storm thing is interesting. As hinted previously, she has indeed returned in body, but de-aged to youth. what's interesting about it is that it doesn't seem like Nanny had literally de-aged her in their encounter, but that is the form in which she has re-emerged, in, of all places, Illinois (notably, in the part known as "Little Egypt" -- she spent much of her original youth in regular-sized Egypt.) Since she was killed and even buried, we don't know how or why she's back, and it doesn't even seem, at this juncture, like we'll find out; perhaps it's just one of those mythical magical things that happen without explanation because that's how the story has been determined to go. So much the better, we can be glad she's back in some form, let's not spend years pretending Storm actually is dead. Don't bore us, get to the chorus.