The X-Men get sucked into intrigue on an alien world!
Originally Published February-March 1992
So, the X-Men, along with their colleague Sunfire, got sucked into a mysterious hole in the ground, a void taking them to parts unknown, with the secondary outcome of squooshing their faces like the beginning of Mario 64.
Jean and Colossus are dropped into the tropical jungle area of Portalworld, along with the corpse* of their new friend Primate.
*As we learned with Emma Frost last month, the word "corpse" has been redefined as "any body, which may or may not be alive or dead." In this case, I think Primate is alive.
Before they can Weekend at Bernies her and themselves to safety, they are surrounded by hostile Voidoids who want revenge for the killing they did of Primate. Jean is able to fend one of them off with her telepathic powers, but as she can only focus her powers on one target for some reason, she falls prey to a punch to the skull.
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| To be fair, this is my weakness also. |
The soldiers keep firing on Colossus until he reverts to his flesh and blood form, at which point he begins to look strangely familiar to them.
Yes, these Voidiots seem to think Colossus is their messiah. And hey, they c9uld do worse.
Elsewhere, Storm has been dropped into the Desert Zone, found and tended to be a lonely hermit who feeds her somw of hia desert wine. But when she mentions she came through a portal, he's somewhat shooketh.
Concurrently, in another part of Portalia, Archangel drops in on the middle of a pitched a battle between some Rebels and some Empire of some kind. He's a little unconscious at the moment though so he lets his wings do the talking, and what they want to talk about is murder.
The Empire guys are pretty impressed with their newfound Angel of Death Friend and take him to meet the hot lady in charge, Sha-Har-A-Zath of the Triumvirate, who is very interested in his certain set of skills.
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| You're not related to Zaladane by any chance are you? |
Further meanwhile, Iceman and Sunfire have also gotten into a spat with some locals at a Voidian Pub.
Colossus and Jean arrive at Rebel City where Peter is hailed as the Savior returned, and Iceman and Sunfire hear word of the steel-skinned icon, and figure they probably know who that is. Storm and her mysterious companion prepare to journey out and collect the X-Men and seal up the Portal, and hints very broadly that he may be someone of some importance.
While beautiful women throw themselves at Colossus (for what good is being the Savior if you can't get a little cookie out of it?) Storm and her new friend arrive and set up a little family reunion.
Shock and Gasp!
Back on Earth, the cops (that is, the present-day cops of 1992) discover the corpses (smoldering and definitely dead) of the victims of that utter maniac Bishop. The attack -- which the public has no way of knowing was perpetrated on irredeemable psycho criminals from the future -- sets off a refreshed wave of anti-mutant hysteria.
Watching from afar, Bishop can only sigh at the small-mindedness. He vows to eradicate hate here in the past, even if it means, presumably, murdering every last bigoted person with his gun.
And with that...
As you may recall from two or three paragraphs ago, the man Storm had encountered just so happens to be Colossus' long lost brother Mikhail.
Mikhail, as you undoubtedly recall from 1976's Uncanny X-Men #99, was a Soviet Cosmonaut believed dead when his rocket exploded on the launch pad, an experience which haunted Piotr and made him fear visiting space (the first time.)
It would appear that, instead of dying, he wound up here, and became the Savior, you know, as y'do.
Primate interrupts the joyful reunion and points out that the portal is expanding and will soon destroy everything on both sides, yadda yadda. It seems only Mikhail has the power to seal the portal up and save everyone. There's just one problem.
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| I choose not to run! |
By way of explanation, Mikhail tells us about how his death was staged so that his mutant energy powers could be directed on something more important: the Void, which had appeared on the Sakhalin Islands. He breached the Void, was discovered by the Avatar of the Triumvirate, fell in love with his daughter, did that whole bit.
You know how it goes -- Mikhail discovers some widespread corruption in the Triumvirate, foments a rebellion, determines that the only way to stop the Portal and cut the Triumvirate off from power is with his own powers, but not without a cost...
Hence, Mischa is a little reluctant to step back onto the national stage, preferring instead to take to the wilderness like Hillary Clinton.
The brothers bicker some more, with Mikhail essentially calling Colossus a hayseed farmboy hick who could never understand the like, real deep sorrow he feels from being out in the world. Colossus responds by going "Bro -- I'm an X-Man."
Colossus goes on to say he, too, has taken lives, but unlike his brother, he's not a little punkass who gives up on his ideals about it.
Storm contextualizes Colossus' outburst by telling Mikhail -- and us -- that Peter idolized his brother and used him -- the fictionalized version that only existed in his head -- as a role model for all the challenges he faced as an X-Man.
In another part of Voidworld, Archangel has been getting smoochy with his bosslady at the Triumvirate...
Which of course means that when the battle comes the next day, Warren is on the side opposite his friends, and he's now been brainwashed to forget them.
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| You guys, it's been two months -- TWO MONTHS -- since an X-Man was brainwashed |
Iceman and Sunfire join the battle (for the good guys) and snap him out of it. Sha-Har-A-Zath reveals, rather abruptly, that she has mutant powers and takes out Mikhail. The Void begins to grow again, threatening all that is, causing the Triumvirate forces to flee. Mikhail realizes he has to do his duty, and the mutants all combine powers to ensure a massive death wave doesn't kill everyone around.
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| It's nice that they were able to include Iceman in this. |
He does some straining...
And...
Pop! Just like that, the Void is closed and everyone who needs to be back on Earth is back on Earth. One catch...
But of course, it works out, and Mikhail awakens, healthy as a horse that has just traveled interdimensionally. He's even participating in pithy banter!
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| All right, you've gotta give it up for that one. |
Jean chimes in, just in case there was any doubt that this is the 100% mondo happy ending, that she got some psychic readings just before the Void collapsed, and all of Mikhail's friends on the other side survived too. Everybody lives!
I mean, they'll probably go back to their perpetual state of sectarian civil war, but... it's not our problem anymore, yay!
Further Thoughts:
There's a passage in Sean Howe's must-read book Marvel Comics: The Untold Story, which indicates that X-Men editor Bob Harras was getting tired of Chris Claremont's stories about "aliens and magic." But several issues into the new regime, we're getting stories about time travel and interdimensional portals and alien civil wars that aren't terribly dissimilar to what Claremont was peddling. The only difference is that instead of being ponderous and languid in pace, these are zippy all-action stories that sometimes don't even make sense, and don't really need to. It wasn't Chris Claremont's stories that were the problem -- it was Chris Claremont's way of doing the stories.
Maybe. That's one theory anyway.
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| That'll happen when the creative team changes for the first time in 16 years |
Like I said, this story with the portal seems like a remix of several many X-Men stories from the past, played at double speed. The X-Men are getting involved in a civil war on an alien world. The heroes are spread out across various locales in a fantasy land. Archangel is on the wrong side. Someone meets their long lost relative who has been living among the aliens. Yeah, you could ding it for being derivative, but at a certain point, these are just the tropes that an X-Men story is made of, and it is all fair play to be aware of that and use it going forward. This isn't the greatest X-Men story in the world, but it is a tribute.
This isn't the finest story I've ever read, but it's actually quite palatable for what it is -- a crisp little multi-parter that will keep the kiddies buying the comics.
In the latter part of the story, the scripter role moves over to Scott Lobdell. In interviews, John Byrne basically explains that due to the chaotic work habits of Lee and Portacio -- sending art in dribs and drabs and then changing the plot as it goes so that the script needs to be re-written -- it was not a workable situation for Byrne. Lobdell, who was a freelancer hanging around the office in those days managed to pick the gig up, much in the same way as Claremont had many years before, and make it work. God knows how: it sounds like a terribly impractical way to do business, this Artist-Plots/Writer-Scripts method. Seems to me, if the creativity is going to be generated on two different sides, then you need some kind of efficiency linking the different steps of the process and it doesn't sound like Bob Harras or anyone else was willing to crack the whip on Lee and Portacio. And yet, the comics did keep getting made, and there's almost comprehensible, too!
Byrne's dialogue was starting to not be so bad, but something clicks into place when Lobdell joins the team, which is good because for many years going forward the dominant vibe of the X-Men is going to be the kind of snappy, surfacey patter that he and Fabian Nicieza can provide, which can add levity to a situation and welcome the reader in. Lobdell, along with the other creators involves, have even been showing they have a "take" on the characters, which has been missing from Uncanny for months now. For Lobdell, that will come in handy in the long haul as he eases into his role as the guiding voice of the X-Men franchise for much of the 90's.
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