Monday, January 22, 2018

UNCANNY X-MEN #45: When Mutants Clash!



Quicksilver wonders if he should stay or should he go while Cyclops hopes he didn't train in vain and Magneto seeks death or glory.





Originally published June 1968

When we last left off, Angel had escaped Magneto's island base, but the other X-Men were trapped in specially designed prisons that nullify their powers. Yessirreebob, there's absolutely no way any of the X-Men could ever escape from the ingenious chains Magneto has devised, so there's no reason to even bother. Not even if you tried, like, really, really hard.


Oh, uh, never mind I guess.

Having escaped Magneto's inescapable trap, Cyclops goes in search of his teammates. He is able to locate Jean and exerts maximum effort to break her out of her cell.


Cold, Scotty.

Now, I don't make it my #1 goal in life to razz old comics about their art (which is almost as low-hanging fruit as, well, everything else I razz them on) but I am getting vertigo just looking at that staircase. Cyclops looks like he's either throwing himself up them, or falling down. Still, it works in an impressionistic way to depict the direness of Cyke's situation - he's lost and frazzled, can't tell up from down so to speak.

Cyclops does not manage to locate Hank and Bobby, but he does run into Toad (who scampers off to find Magneto) and Quicksilver, who is eager to parley with Cyclops.



Quicksilver makes a surprisingly rational play to get Cyclops onto Magneto's side. He repeats the same pitch Magneto usually gives about homo sapiens' cruelty and Magneto's goal to create a sanctuary state for Mutantkind, but in an indoor voice, which makes it sound much more reasonable than usual. He also does not mention Magneto's plan to mind-control the human population.


Cyclops seems to consider it for a moment, but ultimately doesn't buy in. He says that Professor X taught him better than that, any any plan that involves Magneto, count him out. To be honest, I kind of think Cyclops is right for the wrong reason here. Yes, Magneto is an avowed terrorist and megalomaniac who certainly wishes hinmself to become a dictator, but Cyclops' invoking of "Professor X always told me this!" instead of specifically addressing Quicksilver's points, makes him seem like he's never investigated the issues for himself.

Well whatever. They have a fight, and it's really good.


By the standards of 1960s X-Men comics, actually a lot in this issue is really good. I'm going to chalk it up to Quicksilver and point out that he's probably the best character to appear in this entire series for 45 issues. The "conflicted villain" angle that always pops up when he's teamed with Magneto - which was shaded in right from his very first appearance - has only gotten stronger since he's now formerly an Avenger. And beyond that, seeing him in action against Cyclops is probably the most thrilling fight combination the book is capable of providing at this point, which is why they always get matched up: the fastest guy around versus the guy whose power beams can theoretically hit him, if he can just target him.



The execution of this is so top-notch that I should really think twice before slagging ole Don Heck again.

Meanwhile, Toad has informed Magneto that one of his captives has escaped, and he is so displeased he does this:


I don't know what is happening there but I wouldn't want Magneto to demonstrate it on me. He berates and tortures Toad and then berates him some more to get him to watch the monitors to make sure nobody else escapes. Listen, this Brotherhood of Evil Mutants could use some HR or something because this is not how you treat employees.

After a close battle, Cyclops ekes out a knockout victory against Quicksilver, only to be cornered by... the Avengers! Who are not happy to see him, btw!

The issue ends on a cliffhanger, to be continued in Avengers #53... of which I am graciously providing a write-up for you right this instant!


 
"In Battle Joined!" Originally Published June, 1968

We'll evaluate how much dipping between titles I want to do on a case-by-case basis but this is the first time ever that a story was started in the pages of X-Men and finished elsewhere, and it's significant enough really do want to capture it.


We flash back to when Angel finally made it to the Avengers Mansion, where Hawkeye and Goliath are sitting around watching TV, and convinces the group to come help him free his teammates. Unfortunately, they discover that a tracker has been placed on Angel's wing, leading the Avengers to suspect that the X-Men have turned coat and joined Magneto and that they are walking into a trap. So naturally, they decide to walk into that trap guns a'blazin'. Earth's Mightiest Heroes, folks.

For further evidence/fuel for this wacky mixup, Hawkeye plants a surveilance arrow (as seen in the X-Men panel above, gasp!) and sees Cyclops chit-chatting with Quicksilver... missing the part about them disagreeing philosophically and then punching it out with each other. They resolve to take out Cyclops, then the other X-Men if necessary, then Magneto. I should note that the Avengers at this point consist of Hawkeye, Goliath, Black Panther (in his literal first day on the job), the Wasp, and that's it. Not my first draft picks, even if BP is made to look as impressive here as he does in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Still seems like a tall order for this crew.


However, once they've KO'd Cyclops, they turn on each other, just because, well, as bad as the X-Men can be sometimes I guess the Avengers are worse.


For my money, Mile-High Meatball is an all-time great putdown.

Magneto and his crew (which consists of himself, Toad, Powerless Scarlet Witch and Unconscious Quicksilver) give the Avengers some competition for least co-operative faction, as Magneto continues to berate Toad, calling him:
  • Dolt
  • Fool
  • Brainless Gargoyle 
  • And best of all, Caliban, forthat highbrow Shakespearean shade.
Anyway, there's rumblings of dissention because Toad, master strategist, questions the wisdom in Magneto's plan to use the X-Men and the Avengers to murder each other. But Magneto indicates that everything is going according to his scheme, which involves mind-controlling the X-Men into doing his bidding. Unfortunately, he didn't account for Jean Grey's new mental abilities--




Shoot, I guess he did. Score one for the bad guys.

So they X-Men and Avengers do have their throwdown, and it's a lot better than the last time they fought; mostly due to creating a better context for the clash and because artist Sal Buscema puts in a strong effort with some dynamic pacing.



What ends up happening - and I needed to read through this a few times because it's a little convoluted - is that Angel shows up and destroys Magneto's mind control machine. It turns out the Avengers sensed the bug was a plant to frame Angel, tied his hands loosely, and had Wasp whisper the plan into his ear. Then they proceeded to (pretend to?) fight amongst each other to lure Magneto into attacking rashly.

I mean, there's a lot that could have gone wrong there, but it worked out fine I guess.

It still basically amounts to a contest of whose plan of doing a bunch of random stuff will come out on top and Magneto still pretty much gets the edge.

Magneto plans to blow up the part of the castle where he's trapped the heroes, but Toad, salty after all Magneto's abuse, detonates the entire island and elects only to save himself, Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver. Magneto follows in pursuit, but he designed his getaway ship from "non-magnetic materials" just to "prove he could" and Toad declares his freedom.



And, well...



Yeah.

Further Thoughts:

So, the X-Men didn't come off great in this one, but at least that can be chalked up to the fact that, for the final part, they were the guest-stars. Of course, I don't know how to account for the Avengers not looking great here either. Still, as I said, it was a better read by far than their last encounter. If you absolutely need to have a hero-fight, and tradition dictates that we do, mind-control is a very good way to do so.

I'm a little sad though, because there is a serious missed opportunity here. We just learned a little while ago that Marvel Girl now possesses at least a portion of Professor Xavier's telepathy. So what are the first three things that happen? She blunders into a trap, gets mentally sedated and then brainwashed into fighting the Avengers. What is even the point of being able to read minds and protect your own if all that happens right away? But, you know, it's her first day with these powers so you can't blame her for not having the finest instincts with them.


As for Magneto? Well, that's just one of the many occasions on which he met his death, as Baron Munchausen would say. I did really like the strong seeding of the Toad betrayal storyline since they made sure to turn up the baseline level of abuse Magneto usually dishes out, and since Toad has been suffering this crap since day one it came across as past due. But that just leaves this as the latest occasion where the X-Men's foe is more undone by an incompetent or outright treacherous underling/partner/robot than by their own tactical finesse.

Maybe there's a lesson here. Maybe in real life, heroism is so hard to come by that the main reason evil hasn't actually won is because it's so incompetent. In its own sad way, that comes as a mild comfort in these trying times. Sigh.


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