UNCANNY X-MEN #195: It Was a Dark and Stormy Night...

Don't tell mom the babysitter's Wolverine!

Originally Published July 1985

We begin on the prototypical dark and stormy night, with the Power Pack - Alex, Julie, Katie and the other one, a quartet of superpowered (via aliens, not mutation) moppets who can face down all sorts of bad guys yet are still a'scared of a storm, all sleeping in the bed of their parents Walt and Louise Jim and Margaret.

Awakened by a massive thundercrash, Jim and Margaret are somewhat surprised to see these kids in their bed - not because the oldest has got to be at least 12, but because they don't have any kids!

That's right, some strange force has brainwashed Jim and Margaret into thinking they are DINKs!

The confusion abounds as the Pack searches the house only to find no trace of their own existence - no beds, no sugary cereals, not even Alex's treasured Disney World cup. Before the amnesiac parents can call CPS on their own kids, the four get away, checking in with the super, Mr. Ortiz, to confirm that the Powers are in fact a nice couple with no children (who just happen to live in a four-bedroom apartment in New York City, sure.)

The kiddoes run out into the night with only their PJs to protect them from the weather.

(Until they remember they have super-costumes that can shield them from the rain and cold. Doy.)

The kids connect this with a recent encounter they had in their own series with the Morlocks - specifically one called Beautiful Dreamer, who erases memories, and of course, Annalee, the creepy old lady who wants them for her own children. Yeah, I'd say that fits the bill.

The Power kids drop into the sewer to find the Morlocks - and immediately get grabbed by them as it appears the Morlocks knew to watch all the local manholes and storm drains.

The lil ones are no match for the big scary Morlocks. Katie (Age 5) gets away by stomping on Masque's toes, but not unscathed.

That morning, Kitty is watching the news - as always - when she sees a report about a little girl found in the subway system on her own. Kitty knows the Power Pack and recognizes the kid as Katie, despite having been monchichified by Masque's powers (Kitty knows a thing or two about that.)

The X-Men find Katie strapped to a bed in a hospital but using her phasing ability Kitty - now going by Shadowcat, her first non-embarrassing codename, as of her return from Japan - is able to abscond with her down to a storage basement where Wolverine, Rogue and Rachel are waiting. Shadowcat says Nightcrawler would have also come but he is on another mission. (Nothing is said about Colossus' whereabouts, perhaps he had an art class or still feels awkward around Kitty.)

Rachel telepathically gets the whole story from Katie. To help keep her courage up, 'Cat gives Katie a special jacket that only X-Men get to wear. (One of those famous 'Members Only' jackets I always heard about?)

Demonstrating considerable mastery of her powers, Kitty phases the whole group down into the sewers where Wolverine is able to use his tracking ability to find their way to Morlock Alley. Along the way, Lil Katie pouts about her powers, how she wished she had never gotten them and thought it would be fun like being Luke Skywalker. Logan, who paid considerably more attention to the Star Wars films then a 5-year-old might, notes that Luke's adventures weren't always so fun ether, but he, and Katie, do real good with their powers.

The X-Men find their way to a berth in the Morlock Tunnels made up to look like the Powers Kids room, but no sooner do they arrive than they are discovered, by Annalee - and her children!

Do me a favour Katie, won't you stay and keep Annalee company? (Take a load off...)

That's right, the other Power kids have been mindwiped to accept Annalee as their mom! (And they're all sporting the trolldoll look, too.)

I don't mean to cast aspersions on Annalee's fitness as a parent, but the first thing she did was put 10-year-old Julie in a tube top. Yikes.

A fight breaks out, as the Power Pack try to "rescue" their sibling from the X-Men, while the X-Men try to fight Morlocks without hurting any Power Packers, in a nice little sequence with enough different planes of action.

In the chaos, Leech - the Morlock with the power to cancel powers - saps Rogue's strength, which creates something of a feedback loop that erases both of them for a moment. Rogue, now no stronger than an ordinary woman, fights valiantly, wondering exactly what might happen if her Ms. Marvel strength never returns.

It's a question that needs no asking, because no matter how many changes happen to the status quo, Rogue will seemingly never be rid of those powers for good.

While Wolverine unleashes some clawed fury on the Morlocks - much to the chagrin of interim leader Shadowcat - Kitty goes in search of Annalee and the Kids. She finds them all right, and is able to reduce the Morlock child abductor to tears by comparing what she is doing, to that of the person who murdered her actual children (remember that?)

Callisto arrives and puts a stop to all of this, and things get put right. She warns Annalee that if she disobeys the order not to mess with topsiders again (this was something Storm specifically prohibited, remember), they will face in the ring.

At which point Annalee is just like "You know what, let's do it right now. Go ahead and kill me, it's what I want."

Out of sympathy, Katie offers Annalee the chance to be the Power kids' "Special Grandmother," which heartens her. Whether or not the kids will make good on their promise to stop by on Thanksgiving or whatever, who knows, but in the moment it's very sweet and seems to be the answer to get her to stop kidnapping children.

It's a real feel-good ending, but as soon as that's wrapped up, the X-Men get summoned home to meet an old friend...

That's right, Magneto has returned! And he wants... to talk??

(Not to mention, we are being threatened with another Secret Wars. Oh brother.)

Further Thoughts:

On the face of it, this seems like a nice wholesome one-off issue, but like most fairy tales it carries a dark edge to it, what with the abduction, coercion, adulthood fears of child death and childhood fears of parental abandonment. It actually makes for a really beautiful story that way.

Another off-panel mention for Dave Stevenson, Morlock Healer.

Annalee is villainous, but is equally or moreso a victim, whose pain over her lost children pushed her over the edge - and considering she is already one of the Morlocks, who think nothing of kidnapping when it suits them, it's not hard to see how she ended up making the moves she did.

A keener eye than mine (and there are quite a few out there) can tie this to the X-Men's ongoing theme of found family.

There are some good character moments here, like Wolverine indicating that there is good and bad in growing up (a little less trite than your average "great power/great responsibility" speech) and Katie telling Annalee that she can never truly erase the kids from their parents minds and they would hurt every day without them and never know why (let's pretend we know that for a fact.) Notably, the creators didn't take the opportunity ot push Kitty's "My parents are divorced" button, Rogue's "I can't control my powers" button, or Rachel's "I'm from a future where everyone I've ever known is dead and now I'm in a past that is not my past where I was never born and my mom is dead" button. (It's a very specific button.) Contrary to what a lot of people think, there's actually some restraint exercised when permitting the X-Men to grouse about their baggage.

Addressing the deaths of Annalee's children keep the plot point of the mysterious murders happening in the sewers bubbling near the surface. Is it part of the human race's renewed war on mutantkind? Or something more... sinister?

As mentioned, Kitty has leveled up some since her return from Japan, with her new name, non-offensive-to-the-eyes costume, and gradually increased scope of her powers. She's still a kid, but behaving with confidence and assurance that comes from spending two years of her life in life-threatening scenarios. Amongst this crew, Wolverine acclaims her the boss, which shows just how badly he does not want the job. Which will never stop being his weirdest contradiction to me, but with the kid-centric focus of the story it was a good time to put Kitty front and center.

I feel bad for Kurt though - he was just named leader, and he's already being left out of the narrative.