X-MEN #23: Leaning Toward Oneself

Cyclops and Sinister... team up??!

Originally Published August 1993

Upon seeing Sinister in Alaska, Scott does the sensible thing we all know we would do: explodes the holy loving flick out of him with the power of his optic blasts.

Now, as we know from the last time these two met, Scott's optic blasts are Sinister's one weakness: he can shrug off virtually any other offense, but a full power shot from the big red rays means he's banished to the land of wind and ghosts. 

Psych! As it turns out, that was never Sinister's weakness at all, it just makes him look like a Jell-o mold with a scoop taken out of it. He only spent Scott's entire childhood conditioning him not to ever unleash his powers on him as a bit. That whole "exploding into skeletal debris" thing? That was just because he didn't feel like fighting the X-Men anymore that day and he was tired of hanging out with the Marauders.

I know I certainly wish I had the ability to disintegrate into a pile of humus to get out of social obligations    

That being said, Sinister didn't come here for a blast-off, he came to talk. See, it turns out Sinister may have made an oopsie: all he's ever wanted was a chance to study Scott's DNA up close and test its potential. He thought he had gotten a sample of Scott's offspring from Stryfe, but, wouldn't you know it, the madman from the future unleashed a plague from the future instead, which as we know is currently ripping its way through mutantkind as we speak. Talk about a boner.

Oh, and as to whether Stryfe is, in fact, Scott's son Nathan, back from the future and bitter about his absentee parents-- who can say? Sinister doesn't know, and honestly he doesn't care: is his name Mr. Child Counselor? Or... Maury?

He's not one of these "detail-oriented" scientists 

Sinister goes on about how this pox -- this virus that is Stryfe's legacy -- got Sinister's head geneticist killed, which is probably more down to not following OHSA regulations regarding opening mysterious canisters from the future than anything else. It seems to be Stryfe's revenge on those that birthed and whose neglect twisted and hardened him -- if, you know, he just happens to be Scott's son, which maybe he is, maybe not, that's not the point, who cares, stop asking.

Sinister, meanwhile, really just wants what we all want: a little smidge of Scott's DNA. Or maybe one of his brothers'.

I mean brother.

Brother, singular, apostrophe-"s." Possessive.

One brother of Scott.

Right?

Or do I?

Fiddle dee dee, nothing to see here folks.

Anyway, all of this is very captivating and all, but unfortunately it gets interrupted by the utterly forgettable Dark Riders, who want to have a fight.

Speaking of enigmatic conversations where nothing is learned and fights to interrupt them, back in Japan the two Psylockes -- one of whom is Kwannon but we don't know which -- have Lord Nyoirin at a disadvantage. All he wants is his Kwannon back, but neither of the Betsies want to be Kwannon. One of them sure looks Kwannony, and they both kind of act Kwannonlike, but neither wants to own up to being the ninja babe who used to shack up with this sleaze.

Look, I'm sorry, but one of you has to be Kwannon.

Back in Westchester, rogue, Jubilee, Wolverine and Charles discuss the possibility that Magneto is back and that means they're probbly gonna have to go fight him again.

In Alaska, the Dark Riders look to make short work of their foes, but they didn't reckon with Mr. Sinister's true power -- that he's an A-list bad guy. He shuts them down and spanks them for moving in on his territory by attacking the source of that sweet sweet Summers DNA he needs.

That said, he doesn't seem to mind of the Dark Rider's cripple Scott. And with that, he blips out, to let them do their thang.

Back in Japan, Gambit and Beast stop by Shinobi Shaw's place to let him know that they know the Upstarts exist now.

And at the home of Matsuo, who believes there is art in everything from architecture to murder, the Psylocks corner their would-be benefactor and give him what-for.

They're mad at Matsuo because of what they believe he did to mess up their minds, but Matsuo insists he didn't do anything except mold Psylocke -- as Nyoirin did to white Betsy, aka Revanche -- into what they wanted to be anyway. And isn't that cool? Don't they love being hot ninja babes?

Back in Alaska, the Riders pile on Scott for a few minutes and rough him up, until their floating head in the sky guy Hard Drive appears. The Fight Test is over, and Scott has passed; it's time to go home.  

I've seen a lot of things in my time, but I think this is the first ever Time Limit Draw in a comic book superhero fight. Who knew the Dark Riders fought under Queensbury Rules?

HD leaves Scott with some generically cryptic words about the storm to come, which Scott calls out as poppycock seeing as how Apocalypse is dead. He also points out the irony that the whole comic storm of the future is partly because of Scott having to send Nathan away (and thus become Stryfe -- maybe, it seems) due to the very actions of the Dark Riders! That's some By-His-Bootstraps stable time loop stuff!

Their response: Well yeah, but who gives a shit?

Of course it is.

They teleport away -- how come everyone but the X-Men seems to have a teleporter these days? -- and Scott is left scratching his head over what the hell any of it is supposed to mean.

Further Thoughts:

Last week, I went on and on about how crazy twisty-turny plots and concepts are the foundational bedrock of X-Men comics in the 90's. There's no getting around them, there's no negotiating with them, they simply are the buy-in for looking at these comics.

But does it make for good stories?

A story is not simply what is being told but how it is telling it. Sometimes there are parts that are simply not fun to dramatize. At the risk of causing 90s comics to pale in comparison to the "good ole days," the 80's heyday of the X-Men could be wonderfully straightforward and in-the-moment. It was easy to follow and thus mostly pretty consistently enjoyable to depict. But with the change came a shift to these abundant grandiose mystery villains and their incomprehensible schemes and games. More and more info is being withheld from the readers and the characters themselves. The story sometimes isn't even a story.

In this issue, all we get is an exposition-heavy, yet simultaneously cryptic conversation between Sinister and Cyclops. That could be good. There's nothing preventing a lengthy excursion that features simply two enemies standing around talking from their different viewpoints has to be boring or rote. It could be tense, and it could be revealing, and it could even just be fun to watch the characters volley. Fabian Nicieza seems to enjoy Sinister, as he loads him up with charm, competence and an aristocratic aloofness. Unfortunately, his conversational partner is Scott Summers, who has been many things but a charismatic leading man is seldom one of them. He could be smooth in the past when Claremont wanted him to be, but he's pretty much just been a vanilla leader archetype since returning to the X-Men.

The content of the conversation has exactly one salient point: "The Legacy Virus now exists." It's sort of Sinister's bad, mostly Stryfe's fault. Other than that, the convo is painfully short on answers or anything much to sink one's teeth into. Is Stryfe Nathan? Iunno, seems like it. Is there a third Summers brother? Wouldn't you like to know. What is the connection between Sinister and Apocalypse? Bitch don't ask.

Then the Dark Riders come and there is a fight that is the very definition of obligatory. The can of plot is kicked a little further down the road. "One day, it'll all pay off, and Apocalypse will be back!" Because he is, after all, the king of ultimate 90s mega villains.

Plus there's all this stuff in Japan, which I don't think it's possible to care about. We'll have to sort out this "two Psylockes" situation another time, as both the ladies seem content to both have a claim to the identity, for now.

Look, they're not all winners, but by being home to these deliciously enticing kudzu plots, the X-Men had a winning sales formula.