The Upstarts put Forge in the crosshairs
Originally Published June 1993
Our top story tonight: Is your teen spooling? We'll tell you everything you need to know about the new trend in futuristic inhumane torture and why it's sweeping the nation. All this plus a birthday cake for the world's oldest spaniel, and Phil Pilsener with the weather forecast, tonight at 11.
In this case the unlucky recipient of this horrifying, grotesque and visually compelling process is Selene, the millennia-old mutant vampire witch who had previously been implied to be the secret mastermind behind the Upstarts. The reason: Trevor Fitzroy -- who has reunited with his funny little man Bantam -- is trying to get the attention of the Gamesmaster and the other Upstarts for a little huddle.
Now, you may be asking, how was Selene, one of the most powerful mutants in existence and a literal sorceress on par with Dr. Strange, bested by Trevor Fitzroy, who sucks? And the answer is, shut up, obviously it happened because we are seeing the outcome of it right now. Who needs to know how it happened? You should know by now that Fitzroy, as a character who was created in the last two years, is automatically more powerful and better than any villain who ever appeared in the X-Men previous to that. The Upstarts are the future, get used to it.
Per Trevor's request, Gamesmaster does indeed summon the Upstarts for a Zoom call on the astral plane. This includes Fitzroy, Shinobi Shaw, Fabian Cortez, racist hatemonger Graydon Creed, and the fifth and final member, Sienna Blaze.
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| See? Here they are |
What, you think someone's missing? No, Fenris were never members of the Upstarts, you just hallucinated it. This is it, this is all of them. No Nazi wonder twins. Let's move on.
We also learn some of the Gamesmaster's deal, as he is an "Omnipath," a being telepathically tuned into to every single human mind on the planet, which has understandably left him overwhelmed and drained -- wow, I wasn't expecting this 1993 comic to nail down exactly what it's like being on social media thirty years later. Was part of his origin story finding out too many of his favourite musicians and authors were racists and transphobes?
By and by, he took on the role moderating the Upstarts' game as a way of distracting himself, which, once again, is highly relatable, as that is also the origin of Uncanny X-Cerpts. I'm really starting to feel this Gamesmaster guy.
The big news from Game Boy is that the new big target for the Upstarts is none other than you favourite maker, Forge. It seems that Gamesmaster has some intel from the future that suggests that something Forge does in the next 24 hours will affect the lives of every mutant on the planet -- which means big points for whichever Upstart can off him, and Trevor gets first dibs.
Back at the X-Mansion, Xavier and Moira watch a tender moment between a recently beaten-up Colossus and his little sister, who is currently putting the "ill" in Illyana.
The Prof and the Doc debate whether to tell Colossus that his sister is dying of a mystery disease that may affect all mutants, or if they should let him think she's just got the sniffles. Xavier wants to hold back until he knows more, but unfortunately the diagnostic technology is all Shi'ar based and beyond their comprehension (which seems insanely impractical, couldn't Lilandra have left a user manual behind?) To get the most out of it would require someone with, say, the mutant ability to make virtually anything
Speaking of Forge, he is at that very moment at home in Dallas, reflecting on the fact that he did not inform Nightcrawler of the recent discovery that Magneto may in fact have survived the destruction of Asteroid M (this return from the dead seems like a much quicker turnaround for him! Maybe he had some Starbucks stars that were about to expire.) Forge is interrupted in his reverie by the arrival of late-period Courtney Cox.
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| Scream VII anyone? |
Whoops, sorry, that's Mystique, in her current "Look how cartoon crazy I am" mode. Because she seems to have been using her power indiscriminately lately, Forge challenged her to pick a form and stay with it for three days. Mystique expresses her gratitude for taking her in after her little episode following the death of her very good friend Destiny, but she declines to open up much further.
En route to Dallas, Storm and Bishop discuss their relationship status -- platonic and professional, in case you were curious -- while heading over to Storm's ex's place to solicit his help. Unfortunately, someone else gets there first, and he's dressed in kooky tupperware armor from the future.
He rattles off the sales pitch for his impregnably omnium mesh armor from 100 years in the future, which sounds impressive and all, truly but Forge is, well... Forge.
Apparently sensing that this Texas outing is going to be a little more complicated than simply asking Forge to come to New York, Xavier rounds up the rest of the X-Men, interrupting Iceman's flirty time with Opal Tanaka, which was taking the form of a truly insufferable Lobdell riff on coffee.
Back in Texas, Fitz continues his attack and reflects on Forge's reputation in the future (where he's known as "Genesis," founder of the XSE). Forge baits him into trying to absorb the energy of his bionic hand, thus creating some kind of feedback loop that blows up in his face (Trevor, you must remember, sucks.) Backup arrives in the form of Bishop, who still has a score to settle with Trevor. Trevor feels similarly, blaming Bishop for getting them stuck back in time (although I'm not sure which part of Trevor using his one-way time portal power to escape prison was Bishop's fault per se.)
Trevor manages to land a deadly blow, and...
Dang -- nice gesture though.
Trevor charges up his armor's self-destruct mechanism, but luckily, Storm does arrive in the nick of--
--five seconds too late. Damn.
I guess we're to be continued!
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