ASTONISHING X-MEN #3: In Excess

The X-Men take the fight to Holocaust

Originally Published May 1995

We begin with everyone's favourite good boy Wild Child, on the home stretch of his epic run from Indianapolis to Chicago.

Somehow, the Infinites -- Holocaust's personal zombie cyborg army -- have only just caught up with him despite the fact (in our world) that the trip is 16 hours by bicycle.
 

The Infinites crow about how they've captured Wild Child, whom Holocaust wants alive, when who should arrive but the big H himself?

Wild Child is done for, at the villain's mercy as he decides what he should do with his captive: torture? Present to Apocalypse? The answer of course...

Spot the thread... Holocaust doesn't have a left hand!

Psych!! It's that silly Billy Morph here to do a little schtick before Sunfire roasts the Infinites aliv-- well, whatever form of life they have.

With the baddies incinerated, the X-Men have a minor problem. Only Wild Child knows where Sabretooth is, but he's non-verbal. Luckily, the Feral Youngster has a crafty solution.

He's either really smart, or he just likes to lick people, but either way.

Rogue gets a glimpse of where Kyle has been and what has happened to Victor. She resolves to put Holocaust out of business permanently.

Elsewhere, in a dramatic rain, Holocaust shows Sabretooth around the Infinite Processing Plant, where human goo is reshaped into robot monstrosities to serve Apocalypse.

After a bit more banter about who is going to win the genetic war -- the side with the endless supply of robot soldiers or the scrappy underdogs with a dream -- Holocaust knocks Victor back out, and he has a little dream sequence about the first time he met Blink.

Elsewhere, in the air over the American midwest, Blink is thinking of the same thing. Sunfire is flying the team over to Holocaust's house (it's a 1 hour flight.) Morph irritates the humorless Shiro with more bits, but Morph protests that after all this doom and gloom, he knows he's going to die and he wants to do it with a smile on his face.

Back in Westchester, Magneto wonders if Bishop has the time-travelling cajones to pull the trigger with Legion in his sights, as he may soon be called upon to do. 

It's kind of a funny question, since back in our reality, Bishop has the opposite problem. One would think Bish would be the exact kind of mutant for this time, place and mission, but I guess Xavier's teaching -- and the twenty years wandering in the wilderness he has had to meditate on them -- has had more of an effect than one might have thought.

Their discussion is interrupted by Nanny, whose sensors are triggered to DEFCON: Armageddon, which sounds bad. She becomes an omnium cocoon around little Charles (hope they remembered the air-holes because I don't see 'em) and descends to a safehouse. That can only mean one of two things: either Morph is doing a one-man re-enactment of The Jerk again, or...

Back at the Infinite Plant, Holocaust is cackling about how his plans go far beyond "Survival of the Fittest" to "Survival of Pretty Much Nobody, mwa ha ha." 

Down below, the soldiers are dealing with an unexpected visitor...

You would think the Infinites would know by now that if something unexpected happens, followed by some silly quip, that means the X-Men have arrived -- in this case, by way of Trojan Whale.

The X-Men fight their way into the plant and make some good progress, but abruptly, Blink zips off on her own. The reason? She knows where Sabretooth is. And when she finds her father figure, well... it's not exactly a happy reunion.

 

Further Thoughts:

This issue was co-written by Scott Lobdell and Teen Wolf screenwriter Jeph Loeb, who was making the transition to working in comics at the time. He does a great job providing similar slapstick and smartass dialogue that Scott Lobdell uses, so he might have something of a future as a writer.

With the X-Men working to infiltrate an Apocalypse complex to rescue one of their own, the plot of Astonishing X-Men is shockingly similar to that of Generation Next (which is also written by Lobdell) which I am covering over on Ko-Fi for my supporters (you should join!) This isn't really a problem, it's just an interesting contrast, as Astonishing -- as dark as the AOA setting is -- is considerably more zippy and action-oriented than the comparatively bleak Generation Next, which features a more detailed look at the horrifying living conditions of the slave class under Apocalypse, their monstrous overseers, and the fates of those who would liberate them. So while the Age of Apocalypse made every title darker and harsher, there are distinct shades and flavours within that, which is cool.