ASTONISHING X-MEN #1: Once More, With Feeling

Magneto sends his X-Men on a suicide mission or two or three

Originally Published March 1995

We begin with the breaking of a man's heart, and the searing of his soul.

Bro I just said that.

In this case, the heartbroken, sear-souled man in question is Magneto, founder of this reality's X-Men (named after his deceased Ex.) Magnus is sad because either:

• Wild Child chewed up his favourite slippers
• Apocalypse took over North America before Pearl Jam could release their Ten album
• He's getting ready to send his team on yet another suicide mission

While the first two may or may not be true, the main focus is on the third point. The X-Men, who were forged and generally live in a dystopic hellscape where death stalks them at every turn, are quite used to facing certain death by now. But what's different about this suicide mission is that the suicide may be... of the entire world!

 

And they definitely didn't get a chance to record "Worldwide Suicide."  

No sooner can Magneto begin philosophizing than does a portal open in the middle of the room heralding the arrival of...

That's right! Hundreds of thouands, perhaps millions of innocent people have died, but it might actually be completely worth it if Clarice "Blink" Ferguson never had to die!

Hot on her tail -- and I do mean hot -- is another new old face at the X-Mansion...

Blink and Sunfire have somewhat breached protocol by teleporting directly into the Mansion, but there's no time for the blame game as the X-Men work to douse Sunfire's out of control hotness. Prelate Delgado follows Blink through the Portal, but you know, our dear Clarice has a way of dealing with hop-ons.

Honestly, if you're not smart enough to get all the way through the portal before issuing threats... 

Once that's done and dusted, Sunfire has some grave tidings: you know that culling that just happened in Seattle, in defiance of the Kelly Pacts? Well, it turns out Apocalypse was not serious about punishing those responsible. In fact, he's kind of into it! The whole project is being undertaken by Apocalypse's #1 nepo baby, Holocaust.

And mass murder isn't the only thing Big A has to be happy about -- Delgado may be dead, but thanks to his sacrifice, Apocalypse's funny little man Rex is that much closer to pinpointing the X-Men's seret base.

Back in Westchester, Gambit has a tender moment with his onetime flame Rogue, in advance of his own suicide mission: to the other side of the galaxy to boost the M'kraan crystal. Sure, why not.

Inside the mansion, Magneto has a tender moment of his own with his memories of Charles, before a visitation with Nightcrawler, who runs down all the various things that the X-teams are going to be up to, so be sure not to miss every single issue of the Age of Apocalypse for the next four months!!

And for the love of God don't forget to get the action figures!!

But in truth, there is some emotional resonance in what Magneto and Kurt say to one another, as Magnus must confront the truth of what Bishop claims, that this world only exists because of a wrinkle in time, which means they, and everyone they love, may have to be undone.

Downstairs, Rogue, Sabretooth (w/Wild Child) and Sunfire prepare to take on Holocaust. For Sabes, it's business: he used to work with Holocaust, so there's a score to settle. For Sunfire, it's personal: Holocaust destroyed Japan, and everyone he holds dear (except for his cousin Mariko, who is in Europe with the high council.) And for Wild Child, it's grrrr hnnng arrrooo.

Magneto is also apparently going, but before he does he has some words of encourgement for his son Quicksilver:

Waaaa-aaa-aaait a minute, that doesn't ring true to Magneto's character...! It's...

Morph! Yes, Morph has been kicking around in the background doing sight gags and stuff but now he's here to bring much-needed levity to this nightmare world. I love to see it, Scott Lobdell loves to write it, it's win-win.

Although, imo, the site works a little better when I'm the one doing the jokes

Bishop and Quicksilver see the Astonishing team off on their way. Bishop is a little confuzzled: are these heroes really throwing their lives away to fight Holocaust? Quicksilver retorts: what you never faced constant certain doom in your own world? This is what needs doing, and until the day this world ends, they're going to fight for it.

Further Thoughts:

Age of Apocalypse isn't just a fun "what if," but it -- like, quite frankly, all the best "what ifs" -- is a great rumination on the strength of the characters. It's not just fun to watch the X-Men we know and love get twisted into a new, sharper and edgier shape, but also to see how durable the concept is, how the world could be ending and these heroes would still exist. I know it's a little corny because that's what it's supposed to be, but by golly it works for me. These characters have been put through the wringer and then some -- what with all the genocide and all -- and it's hardened them but it hasn't broken them. Hopefully we, in our universe, can comport ourselves the same way if, you know, a violent genocide happened to be happening today in our world.