UNCANNY X-MEN #341: When Strikes a Gladiator!

Cannonball and Gladiator throw down at Christmas!

Originally Published February 1997 

We begin by simply having a wonderful Christimas time -- as the X-Men always do, especially when they're at Rockefeller Plaza.

As festive as the setting is, Beast fails to drum up interest in a dinner with him and his recently-reunited paramour Trish Tilby. Gambit's not in the mood, Bishop's never in the mood, and Joseph has plans of his own for himself and Rogue.

Cannonball, meanwhile would love to grab a bite, just as soon as he's done nipping into the toy store for a quick second to pick up toys for his innumerable younger siblings.

Sam is in his feelings given he basically watched Graydon Creed get disintegrated right in front of his eyes, plus Xavier turned evil and all the heroes disappeared and to be honest he hasn't exactly been setting the world on fire with his efforts as the newest full-fledged X-Man (or at least, second-newest now that Joseph is around.) He steps into FAO Schwarz only to find one of the most chaotic scenes he's ever been in, which is really something when you consider he was basically a child soldier.

Of course as it just so happens, before Sam can get his hands on the hot new Mongozoids video game, a purple orb of mystery just happens to open up right over his shoulder...

And out pops none other than Gladiator of the Shi'ar Imperial Guard, who has come seeking X-Men and will have to settle for whatever Cannonball is.

Meanwhile, in the skies above Manhattan, Joseph takes Rogue on an enchanted Hansom Cab ride. The cab driver gives his thoughts on how mutants are just people trying to live their own lives, making him 1000x more reasonable than anyone you're likely to find in the government or the media these days.

They trot past 387 Park Avenue South -- an oddly specific address -- where they are seen by an unnamed individual we can call "Bob" for lack of anything else to do. "Bob" works at some kind of publishing company, perhaps in an editorial capacity, and is very stressed because "Scott" and "Joe" have not yet started the next issue of whatever it is they do.

Thinking of the innocent bystanders, Sam works to move the encounter to another venue. He's surprised to find himself holding his own against the guy who took on the Fantastic Four--

-- For a moment, anyway.

As powerful as Cannonball's blastin' is, he's no match for Gladiator, whose powers are derived from his own confident and belief in his ability. There's seemingly no limit to his physical capabilities.

Having no luck pushing against the immovable object, Sam pivots -- quite literally.

Meanwhile, atop the World Trade Center, Joseph reveals what he has been yammering on and on about lately regarding his theories about Rogue's powers. He kindly asks her to behold.

Yes, you remember the Z'Nox chamber, right? The room under the mansion where Charles hid out, shielded from the Z'Nox aliens while he worked to thwart the Z'Nox invasion by the Z'Nox, and then was never brought up again until Mark Waid briefly had a chance to write the series, and assumed, perhaps incorrectly, that everyone could just dig out their copies of X-Men #65 from 1970 for a refresher.

Anywhoozles, Joseph has reverse-engineered the power-filtering capabilities. He says Charles is smarter than people realize, but he may be selling himself short too for doing this.

All of which leads to Rogue's first non-deadly kiss in years.

Meanwhile, Sam finds himself still solo against one of the most renowned fighters in any known galaxy, and surprisingly holding his own but perhaps on borrowed time.

Sam braces himself as Glad winds up for his big knockout punch, and...

And that's it for Sam Guthrie... isn't it?

Sam manages to shrug off Gladiator's big hit like it was nothing, the net effect of which is to rock his confidence-based powers long enough to administer the finishing move:

And get a badass one-liner in to boot

Gladiator is walloped clear across the construction site. The rest of the X-Men abruptly appear to laud Sam for his efforts, having arrived just in time to not be needed.

Sam himself can hardly believe what he's just pulled off. Now that the gang's all here, Gladiator re-emerges to explain what all of this is about. Turns out this is his way of asking for help.

Apparently, some real nasty shit is going down in the Shi'ar Empire, and the Imperial Guard themselves are indisposed due to starring in an unrelated mini-series at this time, so they need the X-Men to go instead.

Before they can barely say more then "Well maybe--" Gladiator has handed out teleportation balls to everyone -- except, as it happens, for Sam, because even though he's just proven himself capable of hanging in the big leagues, he's still just a kid and let's not put too much on his plate. After all, we only want to risk the lives of the most experienced warriors and-- hey, where did Trish go?

Further Thoughts:

In the words of Eddie Valiant... you mean to tell me, you could have done that at any time?

I'm not talking about Cannonball, I'm talking about Scott Lobdell and Joe Madureira, who casually put out perhaps the best issue of their collaboration, perhaps the best issue of X-Men of the '90s so far. The pace of the last few months' worth of X-Men comics since the end of the Onslaught story has been languid as it timidly tries out various directions with Creed and Bastion, and not able to whip up much to excite readers in the here-and-now. Now seemingly out of nowhere it goes full throttle with an issue that does it all. It's a visual feast from Madureira, who captures the comedy within the fight along with the outsized mutant-on-alien action, and a flex from Lobdell, who does action, humour, and heart by turns on each page.

Yes, it's a simple thing: Cannonball just happens to encounter Gladiator, they have a token "why are we even fighting" fight, and then it leads to the next thing. But the fight is so good. It's so good because Cannonball, who has been very underserved since being added to the X-Men's roster a year and a half ago, comes into his own. He begins the story as a character you would never expect is able to go toe-to-toe with Gladiator, but makes a great showing and has a real moment of triumph that takes advantage of everything we know about these two characters at this time. As to the fight being just a crazy mix-up, well, that's been the impetus for a ton of superhero fights over the years. It's a well-worn comic book trope and while you could get mad about it if the results were deflated, this one you can actually buy as Gladiator is a hard case who is used to pushing people around and Cannonball is just trying to protect innocents and the whole thing snowballs from there.

Adding to the greatness of this issue is all the stuff between, where Lobdell gets to demonstrate his mastery with the characters and the ongoing stories he's got simmering. There's been a lot of chatter about Joseph and Rogue, and whether the former has some kind of curative for the latter's permanently uncontrolled powers. He's using Magneto's mad scientist brain for good, and no matter what you think of the pairing in the long run, if you'd rather see her with Remy, it's still an extremely sweet moment and you feel her ache as this strange new suitor gives her something she's longed for her entire life with seemingly no conditions.

It's a shame that, after getting a showcase like this Cannonball doesn't get to participate in the next story. And while I might usually gripe that we have enough going on to fill the comics, why do we have to go to space now too, part of the appeal of these comics is that it just throws more and more urgent matters on top of the stuff that's more long term. You could be forgiven for getting impatient since we have the Legacy Virus, Operation: Zero Tolerance, a possible return of Apocalypse, the recently-revived Sebastian Shaw, plus whatever's going on with Psylocke all jockeying for page time before you shoot the X-Men into space, but... eff it, let's just leave it behind for a few months and have some spacey fun.