UNCANNY X-MEN #343: Where No X-Man Has Gone Before!

The X-Men come face to face with the Phalanx!

Are you sure we haven't used this title before?

Originally Published April 1997

It's been one week since you looked at me since the X-Men have been stuck in outer space. The only survivor they could find of the trashed Shi'ar space station just happened to be Deathbird, elder sister of Empress Lilandra, occasional attempted usurper, and sometime foe of the X-Men, who has been, up until now, comatose in some kind of healing pod.

Bishop explains the situation and notes that it's a little suspicious that she is the lone survivor. That nets him an avian slap across the face and a monolouge about how dishonorable such an accusation is.

I remember this exact scene from Moonlighting, I know where this goes

Gambit and Joseph arrive, having been investigating the station all week. They're eager to interrogate Deathbird, which Bishop disagrees as being too much too soon. They also have some weird shadowy business going on with their faces that is mighty suspicious...

Before much more can be said, Deathbird grabs Bishop's gun and opens fire!

It all makes more sense when you realize, as Deathbird did, that these are not Joseph and Magneto after all, but-- Phalanx!

Yes, we're up against those wacky alien robots that steal people's identities!

Down on the station, we see a few average Phalanx Workin' Stiffs talking about how great it is to be Phalanx. Seems Gambit and Joseph stumbled onto them and got stuffed into pods while the other Phalanx took on their appearances. They're working on some kind of master-plan to spread throughout the universe, and though they know from their shared memory that the X-Men are tough foes, surely nothing can stop them.

Rogue starts wrecking the Phalanx, managing to get an explanation out of them why they look different from the Phalanx they'd seen earlier before becoming subsumed into the Phalanx herself. She takes her last breath as a human to confess her love for Gambit, in case he can hear...

...which he can!

She admonishes him to save himself, but he reminds her that without her, there's not much of a him, so saving the girl is the only option.

Also, Joseph is fine too, thanks for asking.

Anyway, now Rogue has been one with the Phalanx and she knows what they have planned for Earth (nothing good.)

Speaking of Earth, that's where Bastion lives, and he has plans for Jubilee that you can follow in Generation X.

Back on the ship, Beast details his insanely risky plan to deliberately get the ship blown up so they can plummet to a transporter that will take them to the heart of the Phalanx occupation of the Shi'ar throne world.

As they load into the escape pod, Bishop and Deathbird continue their verbal foreplay.

The plan works, as the Phalanx blast the ship on sight, and Joseph uses his magnetic powers to drift the pod harmlessly down to the planet's surface.

Once there, it's a quick matter to get to the teleportation platform. Before beaming off, they quickly remember that Deathbird is normally their enemy, and should they trust her? But really, isn't it a little late for that?

Ko-Fi

Further Thoughts:

The last time we saw the Phalanx they were the stars of an absolutely gargantuan line-wide crossover that positioned them as big baddies intent on eliminating mutants and/or taking over Earth and/or surrendering it to their spacey overlords. Also they looked different but that was because reasons which surely were not simply because Joe Madureira got tired of drawing all those crazy lines.

I could have sworn the Phalanx were just humans who had allowed themselves to be transformed via techno-organic virus (which comes from Warlock's people) in order to become living Sentinels, but I'm not in the mood to go back and check the facts. This is the story now, the Phalanx are Borg through and through, looking to eat up all the Shi'ar to spread their race. 

Either way, it's just interesting to see them as foes for a relatively inconsequential three-parter side-quest thing. But hey, that's comics.

And speaking of which, this story continues to be what I call Just Good Comics, as the action is fine and we have lots of strong character moments from our X-Men, whether in the byplay between Bishop and Deathbird, the tenderness between Beast and Trish, or the heating up of the love triangle between Rogue, Gambit and Joseph.