The X-Men encounter some rough sailing on their way back from space.
Originally Published June 1997
We begin down Central America way, where we see Sister Maria -- the physically attractive nun who saved Joseph, named him and sent him on his way some months back -- is facing down the very thing she always feared would come for her: a cybernetically-enhanced ape.
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| It was a very specific, but ultimately prescient, fear |
Before it can strike a killing blow, however, it is felled by the most obvious and natural foe of a cybernetic ape: a pair of giant mutant slugs.
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| I think I saw this in a David Attenborough special |
These slugs are being wielded by none other than... this guy!
And he wants to find Joseph too -- but maybe for good reasons! Who knows.
As to where our favourite amnesiac reformed villain with the Fabio hair is, we turn our attention to the Shi'ar Throneworld, where those fabulous free birds are rebuilding their sweet home planet. The smell of death may surround them, but they are, above all else, street survivors. Now that Tuesday's gone (the attack took place on a Tuesday, although that information is not directly stated in the text) Lilandra finds herself contemplating a simple kind of man...
She reflects on the strength of his dream, and hers, which she recently pursued by committing what I can only assume are atrocities against the Kree people (I sure ain't reading Operation: Galactic Storm to find out.)
By and by, the Shi'ar hold a memorial for their fallen, which involves getting drunk and cheers-ing to them. Joseph is offended because you are supposed to mourn the dead by being sad and morose.
They talk a bit more about the processing of grief and trauma, and Joseph wonders whether he's got some skeletons in his closet to deal with (boy does he). Rogue promises that once they get back to Earth, she's going to tell him everything he needs to know about the man he once was.
Speaking of people who are being appropriately morose, Gambit is off having a sulk. He's thinking about his deep dark secret, which is so deep and so dark he decides to literally go dig a deep hole in the dark of night just so we're all clear.
Meanwhile Beast and Trish ponder what saving an intergalactic empire from domination means for their relationship status.
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| Is we liberators or nah? |
Trish also reveals she's something of a cinephile.
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| I'm sorry, can you rephrase that? I think I misread you |
As the sun rises on Chandilar -- which is named as such for the first time I can remember -- the X-Men are brought to the "best transport the empire can offer" (a tiny little ship) and their escort (the woman who sometimes tries to kill them.)
On board, Bishop whiles away the time in his tighty-whiteys, doing a little light reading on Shi'ar history.
The ship, of course, is equipped with a reality-distorting field that changes everyone's appearance from Joe Madureira illustrations to Melvin Rubi ones. That's just a side-effect of space travel.
Bishop has a visitor in the form of a similarly undressed Deathbird, who would probably seem pretty sexy in her negligee if it weren't for an unfortunate case of hat-feathers.
Bishop is kind of fangirling about Deathbird's past -- true, she's a wanted criminal, but she's also an ass-kicker of legendary proportion. Deathbird, however, is keen to move on.
Before they can talk more about facing your past rather than ignoring it and setting it on fire, they get a call from Beast in the cockpit. Apparently they're caught in the wake of a much larger ship! Large enough to cause a wake in the vacuum of space!
Gambit, trying to impress us all with his knowledge of interstellar travel, reminds us that it isn't possible for a ship to have such massive capabilities, but here we are. Live and learn I guess.
Deathbird identifies the ship's destination -- three guesses where!
Our heroes' vessel continues to tumble ass-over-ankles in the gravitational pull of the larger ship, until...
Are the X-Men ever going to get home? Or will they be trapped in space for seven years like on that Star Trek show?
The comic absolutely promises* the answer will be found next month which is 100% definitely a continuation of this story!!
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| *This promise is not a guarantee |
Further Thoughts:
It's been two or three months since we had an issue where absolutely nothing happened -- and quite honestly it's an impressive amount of nothing since we have a mysterious newcomer debuting and a shocking cliffhanger and it still feels like nothing. Between the first and last pages, the X-Men are just kind of hanging out, languidly in their feelings about stuff. Hey, downtime is allowed. It's not fun for this site, but it's allowed.
But why should I complain? For years now, the definition of a perfectly fine issue of X-Men has one or two happenings and some relevant ponderings of the status quo. Not every issue seems to need Rogue throwing punches or Storm zapping someone with lightning. In 1997, the X-Men had a lot of goodwill so that fans would stick with them for a prolonged period to see what was next when these long-simmering storylines finally come to a head.
And the truth is, I would rather read 10 issues like this than another nothing-happening three-parter about the Elixir Vitae (drink!)
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