X-MEN #63-64: Games of Deceit and Death Part 2 and Part 3

It's all about the Elixir as Shang-Chi and the X-Men make a deal with the devil!

Originally Published April 1997

When last we left off, the X-Men had recently arrived in Hong Kong, in search of... what was it again?

Drink!

That's right, that fabulous concoction created by Shang-Chi's Father, which can extend a life unnaturally and, it is presupposed, possibly be used to cure the Legacy Virus. Along for the ride is the son of Shang-Chi's Father, Shang-Chi, the Master of Kung Fu, who lets us know he is very surprised and dismayed to have let himself get drawn back into these games of deceit and death. 

I mean, the games have not turned deadly yet, but they are just beginning, so give it time.

The heroes are under attack by some Cyber-Ninjas, sent by [[whomever]] for [[whatever purpose]]. Shang-Chi gives us his perspective on each of the X-Men as they spring into action, which helps inform how we are supposed to feel about these characters we have been following for thirty-odd years.

He jumps into the fray against Katana, who mocks Cyclops as an interloping westerner. Katana, it should be noted, is a white chick with blonde hair.

Drink!

After thrashing the Cyber-Ninjas, they intend to interrogate one of them, who vows to defend the secret of his employer with his life. The discussion is interrupted by Sebastian Shaw, who boasts that he has returned from the dead.

Literally nobody is surprised, we came all this way to find you.

Shaw rankles Jean by reminding her about that time she became Dark Phoenix, except she didn't, (except she did) and she responds by dropping a building on him, but luckily the conflict doesn't escalate into something that might actually hurt.

They agree to adjourn to hash this out like gentlemutants, while Cannonball has snuck off on his own following a Magnum-like hunch.

At Shaw's office, Jean broods a while, collecting her feelings and reminding herself that she didn't actually become Dark Phoenix, she merely acted as the template it used to take physical form and then, at a later date, absorbed its memory and being into herself so that she cannot be held responsible for the deeds yet nevertheless carries the guilt. A relatable problem.

In his office, Shaw explains that as much as the Hellfire Club are rich evil mutants, the Legacy Virus represents a mutual problem for all of them, especially now that a Normal Human like Moira MacTaggert is contracting it. Naturally, Shaw believes that the solution lies in that famous creation of The Father of Shang-Chi... get your cup ready...

I don't know what his name is, but he has a hell of a Fu Manchu mustache

The heroes are struck by Shaw's apparent altruism. Wolverine says he's never known Shaw to be the deal-making type, which is strange since Shaw is literally a successful businessman. Anyway, they suspect his motives, and perhaps rightly so, as he goes right back to shady stuff as soon as the X-Men aren't looking, having liberated Moira's data files on the Legacy Virus thanks to a mole inside her operation that you may know about if you happen to have been reading Excalibur -- which I have not.

Deals? No, but Shaw has been known to make the occasional agreement.

The X-Men, then, infiltrate Fujikawa Enterprises, which is where the "Elixir Vitae" (drink) is believed to be held, but as soon as they get in they find themselves belly to belly with the new COO of Fujikawa...

Wilson Fisk, known to readers of Spider-Man and Daredevil as the Kingpin of Crime!

And with a cliffhanger like that, how can we resist barreling straight through to the conclusion?

When we pick off, Jean has to hold Wolverine back from attacking Fisk, claiming to have read in the papers that Fisk has run the New York underworld for many years. Fisk denies this, professing only to be a humble Art Vandelay-style importer/exporter.

And anyway, the X-Men don't want to start anything with Wilson anyway, because he just happens to have a captive -- the X-Man known as Cannonball, who went missing yesterday and nobody seemed particularly curious about where to. Fisk has him strung up as a potential test subject for the Legacy Virus vaccine derived from -- er, what was it again?  

Drink!

So if the X-Men get out of line, Fisk will activate the vaccine and either make Cannonball immortal (again) or kill him (again.)

Elsewhere in the compound, two presumably Cantonese-speaking security guards, one of whom, by the by, is as Aryan as the day is long, discuss how come there aren't any mutants in Asia. They are unaware of the fact that they are fictional beings in a world designed by white western people.

And anyway they are quickly attacked and drowned by an arriving Sebastian Shaw who has decided to get in on his own dirty work? Or just arbitrarily wants to move the plot along?

Anyway, he's got one thing on the brain. Go ahead and take that drink now.

Back in Fisk's office-lab, the X-Men concoct a plan. Step one is to protect Sam by telekinetically preventing Kingpin's syringe from deploying (smart, I bet I'd do that too if I had telekinesis.) Step 2 is to threaten 'Pin with a King-sized ass-whupping if he doesn't give them the Elixir (drink).

Fisk is unfazed -- the X-Men may have a menagerie of powers that range from the animalistic to the elemental, but the Kingpin has been trained in the art of sumo, so he's plenty confident he could hold his own.

You've gotta watch out for that Thousand-Hand Slap

Luckily it doesn't come to that, as Kingpin lets Cannonball go anyway. Sam wonders aloud just how a big time crime boss gets involved in all this big time International Intrigue, which is one of those questions that answers itself.

Sam, just what do you think the Kingpin of crime does?

Anyway, Fisk relates the story of how he was deposed from his role as ruler of the New York criminal underworld, but saw the opening in the Asian sphere from the factional fighting that went on after the death of Shang-Chi's Father, which of course gave him access to perhaps the greatest creation of Shang-Chi's Father (possibly including Shang-Chi himself) say it with me now...

Drink!

But of course, Kingpin doesn't want to use the Elixir (drink) -- I guess he's seen the 1992 Robert Zemeckis dark comedy Death Becomes Her and got turned off the idea, but that's no reason not to try to monetize it. He postulates that their benefactor, whomever it is, is also only in it for the money, hardly being a bastion of altruism.

And peaking of Bastions, our Bastion is still tormenting Jubilee, and you might know more about that if you read Generation X like you're supposed to (I'm not.)

Damn, I really thought that would've worked

Back at the office, the X-Men have a telepathic touchbase on next steps. Storm postulates that Fisk might be willing to destroy the Elixir (drink) rather than turn it over, and that they should be willing to do the same. Fisk grows tired of watching everyone standing around saying nothing while thry have their psychic Teams Chat, and asks them to reveal the name of their boss already.

Of course, they don't have to, because he comes climbing out of a hole in the floor for some reason. 

Drink!

They wind up in a three-way stand-off, with Shang-Chi wishing once again he were not drawn into these games of deceit and death (although to be frank everyone here has turned out to be refreshingly honest.)

Eventually, Storm wigs out, apparently tired of all this back-and-forth, and just blasts the Elixir (drink) with lightning, destroying it and taking the whole subject off the table.

I do this at work sometimes too, but my bosses don't usually like it

With that, the X-Men just kind of walk away, having thwarted the forces of ruthless capitalism once and for all, vowing to cure the Legacy Virus... some other way.

On the flight home, the X-Men contemplate some of Shang-Chi's fortune cookie wisdom and congratulate themselves on a hard-won pyrrhic victory when they are abruptly attacked by...

Yes, it seems Operation: Zero Tolerance has finally stopped tolerating and started operating!

Further Thoughts:

A comic book is approximately 22 pages long. Across three issues, Lobdell, Raab and Pacheco took 66 pages to tell the story of the X-Men meeting Shang-Chi, going to Hong Kong, chasing after the Elixir Vitae (drink) and ultimately destroying it and going home empty-handed. I don't know that I would consider this a worthwhile excursion.

I don't think I need to elucidate all the specific ways in which this story fails, but consider how our honored guest Shang-Chi barely throws so much as a kick after the obligatory scrap with the Cyber Ninjas. He's just kind of there, a weird vestige from a period of Marvel history that pre-dates many of this comic's intended readers, without much to say or do about his father or the Elixir (drink) he created that's supposed to be such a big deal. And don't think I've overlooked the confusing mixture of Chinese and Japanese culture in Kingpin's business, as if the two are interchangeable or commonly intertwined.

In theory, going after a possible cure to the Legacy Virus, only for it to slip through our fingers, seems like a viable story. However, given we had never heard of the Elixir Vitae (drink) until last week and will never think about it again after this one, it's hard to think of this story as having any meaningful resonance. The words "shaggy dog" come to mind. The X-Men aren't going to keep fighting the Kingpin. They might fight Shaw, but probably not much. Shang-Chi will return to obscurity until he gets the call to star in his own movie. This whole thing could have been an okay diversion for a single issue. Padding it out to two would be a stretch. Elongating it all the way to three issues is torturous.

One for the road!

There is one virtue buried deep within this story: it is fundamentally about the wealthy playing games with the health and safety of those they regard as beneath them. Shaw claims the Legacy Virus is an equalizer and he's in it to help his fellow mutant but really he just wants to make a quick buck, the same as Kingpin. And here in our world, as I write this, not that long ago the President of the United States ended a possible deal that would have provided inexpensive pharmaceuticals to seniors, instead fattening up the pharma corps that are cozy with him. By the time you read this, of course, 1000 other terrible things will have happened, but the point is that this story addresses the capacity for unmitigated cruelty and greed by the moneyed class -- the segment of the population that was recently handed the keys to the kingdom by the American populace. That's a meaningful part of this story -- not well told, but meaningful.

I think we got a few laughs out of all this for the site, but I'm worried there might be some kind of false rumor going around that I love it when comics are bad because then I get to be all snarky. I actually hate being snarky. I don't even have it in me to be mean to Ben Raab, who wrote this ignominious script. I would much rather kid a comic I liked, coming away saying "There was some crazy stuff in there, but what a ride" than have to make my way through 66 pages of circular conversations about who has what Elixir (finish) and why.