X-MEN #105: Killing Angels!

The X-Men are attacked for a change

Originally Published October 2000

We begin with champagne and caviar, but actually not really, because before we can even catch a glimpse of Betsy and Warren enjoying the high life, they're attacked!

Yes, we're not wasting even one page on preliminaries before our heroes -- who have seemingly rekindled their romance, surely much to the chagrin of Neal Sharra -- are attacked by a quintet of fierce femininas.

These assailants self-identify as the Twisted Sisters. The name doesn't ring a bell to Betsy, which I'm Dee Snyder will undoubtedly be disappointed to hear.

The ferocious five-piece is here to collect a contract. They want to rock, but Warren and Betsy aren't just going to take it.

The narration helpfully identifies several of the sisters and their powers, but as much as I am loathe to quote the subject of the current seventh-highest grossing film of 2026 (don't be too impressed, it's made half as much as the 6th) and her famous coat, I have to say that "I really don't care, do u?"

The battle breaches the nearby cofferdam.

Betsy is shocked to see that the lead sister, Helix, has grown wings. She might be even more shocked to find out that she already had them this whole time. That's what losing your telepathic abilities does to you, I guess.

Her wings can also fire dagger-like feathers, much like Warren's used to do back when he had cool metal wings. Bet he's really missing them now. Betsy delivers play by play for our benefit while her flesh is torn by knives.

They battle on and on in ways that are specifically posed to highlight the combatants' chest-ile regions.

The X-Men show up to even the score, having been pinged by Cerebro.

While they square off, we cut away to a subplot where a mysterious figure is watching Senator Kelly's latest stump speech. No points for guessing that it's Mystique, who still very much intends to assassinate him, in defiance of all good sense. Apparently now Irene was telling her from beyond the grave not to, but, you know how wives are, always trying to talk you out of your assassination attempts.

I really don't know what Wolverine has to do with any of this, do u?

Mysty also notices that one of Kelly's "trusted aides" is a barely-disguised Cable. So we're running back the "X-Man embedded with the enemy's political campaign" storyline, in case anybody reading this issue didn't catch it in 1997.

Has the onetime mutant counter-terrorist bought in and become part of Xavier's dream? Um... maybe! 

She's interrupted by a knock at the door -- none other than Rahne Sinclair, checking on her. Seems Mystique is posing as Moira McTaggert in order to pull this caper off (damn, got me again!)

Anyway, back in Hoboken, no jokin', the X-Men and the Twisted Sisters continue their quiet riot.

This motley crue of iron maidens have some terrifying powers indeed. It looks to spell doom for Psylocke and her loverboy.

At one point in the battle, Colossus launches Rogue in a variation on the famous "fastball special," which actually seems counter-productive since Rogue can fly under her own power. But anyway.

The Sisters have what I like to call Super Nuh-Uh powers. They seem to be able to do just about anything to combat the X-Men, including encasing Wolverine in counterfeit spidey-webs.

The Quizzical Quintuplets topple a nearby building on the X-Men in a final bid to pick up the "W", but it takes more than being buried under hundreds of tons of rubble to stop our heroes.

In the chaos, the dam has been breached, flooding the area and drowning all of the Nasty Girls.

The heroes pull them out of the dam and get them to surrender.

Later, as the X-Men somehow manage to put everything back how it was, paramedics tend to millionaire playboy Warren Worthington III, a famous mutant who pretends not to be one of the X-Men, and credits the team with saving his life in spite of some anti-mutant murmurings in the crowd.

But there's a twist! Unbeknownst to anyone, but revealed to us by a Mysterious Invisible Figure, the target of the attack wasn't Warren -- but Betsy! Gasp! Shock! But whom, and for what?! Wouldn't you like to know?!

Find out at some as-yet-undetermined time in the future!

Further Thoughts:

Am I being trolled? If I didn't know this comic was produced a quarter-century ago, I'd think it was specifically designed to fuck with me personally by embodying everything I've been griping about for weeks now.

Chalk up one more random group of wackadoos suddenly appearing out of nowhere to fight the X-Men for no adequately stated reason. These ones are all female, instead of the usual 50/50 split Claremont favors. Their names are all some form of twisting action -- get it? There's no reason for the battle, it just happens, and the X-Men just win by winning. Nothing is gained, nothing is learned, but 22 pages are filled.

What do I care if it was Betsy or Warren that was the target? What difference does it make? What's the story here? If you're going to end on a tease, it should be something the audience is intrigued by. Someone wants to get Betsy. Oooh.

Kitty is still missing, and they seem to have lost interest in finding her. Cecilia was last seen trapped in a building with her hated enemies and gakked out of her mind on designer drugs, but we don't know what happened with that. I'm all for long-form storytelling but literally dropping plots between issues is another thing. We recently added Tessa to the mix. Where is she? Who is she? What does she bring to the table? We don't know yet. But I'm so glad we took an entire issue to fight these nobodies for no good reason. Makes me really glad to plunk down my $2.25. I could have picked up that new Ultimate Spider-Man thing instead.