The X-Men seek survivors of Mr. Clean's attack
Originally Published October 2001
We begin at yet another orgiastic dance club, this time in Manhattan. Chamber pouts -- as much as someone without a lower face can -- as revelers ask him whether he knows every mutant.
Sugar takes her man aside to introduce him to performance artist Colby Lee, who is awed by Chamber's physical appearance, and psychic abilities. But then again, he's also awed by pinball, so he might not be the best gauge of what's awe-inspiring.
Later as they fly back to London, Kane muses again on her favorite topic, the nature and obligations of fame.
Ata London pub, Wolverine, Iceman and Nightcrawler confer while Warren teleconferences in, still healing from the battle with Mr. Clean. Logan confirms that there are protesters outside the Xavier Institute now that Charles has come out at mutant, then turns the conversation to the very important matter of locating and recruiting Jono Starsmore.
The squad goes out in search of the source of some readings that may belong to survivors of Mr. Clean's attack.
At Wembley, Chamber watches as Sugar Kane rehearses a song about her private parts, in perhaps the most not-so-stealthily filthy thing to make it into an X-Men comic since Scott and Maddy's post-coital photo op.
Later, Chamber has a run-in with perhaps the most dastardly villain of all... industry suits. Apparently, Sugar's manager Sim has a problem with both mutants and hangers-on.
Meanwhile, a small group of survivors make their way through the tunnels, hoping to make their way to the Chunnel, and therefore to the safe confines of mainland Europe.
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| It's a 26-hour walk above ground to the Chunnel, but you gotta do what you gotta do I guess |
They ponder the unanswerable question about whether those three mutants wearing X-Men uniforms and claiming to be the X-Men were in fact the X-Men. We may never know.
At an industry party, Chamber excuses himself to use the loo and who should he find but the latest arm of the X-Men's outreach program.
Wolverine makes it clear that by God, Chamber is going to be in the X-Men comic, whether he likes it or not.
Then, because nobody's gotten punched in a while, Sugar's hardcase seccurity guy barges in, looks at Wolverine wrong, and gets a beatdown for it.
Elsewhere, we find out that Mr. Clean takes orders from some kind of religious sect that wants the mutants mopped up.
In the subway tube, the X-Men are preparing to head out on their mission when they are accosted by what I think are supposed to be skinhead neo-nazis but just come off as Grant Morrison lookalikes.
But the X-Men are more than a match for a quintet of cueballs and their slapjack, much to the delight of the crowd.
Elsewhere, it's daylight and Chamber and Sugar -- who is doing "the big halftime show in America" soon -- talks a bit more about their coupling. Maybe they're two freaks who are meant for each other. One thing is for certain, the tabloids are having a field day.
In the tunnels, the survivors continue to trek on their own personal Brexit. The only thing they have for food is the goo that comes off Miss Saccharine.
Then, in the most reassuring possible way, Nightcrawler teleports in and offers to help.
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Further Thoughts:
"To be concluded"??! Conclude what? Wouldn't the story have to have started in order to have a conclusion? Is this the best cliffhanger hook Casey could come up with to get us coming back for more?
What is this comic about? What is this story about? What am I paying $2.25 for every month in 2001??!
The much-vaunted Ian Churchill is the first casualty of the X-relaunch a mere three months in, contributing only the cover to this issue while regular art chores go to Sean Phillips. Phillips isn't a bad artist at all -- his figures are a bit more stylized, but figure-drawing is just one of an artist's many duties in designing and executing a book, and that's very much in the eye of the beholder. Inability to maintain a consistent set of visual contributors will be a major thorn in the side of both of these X-Books for the next few years, but Uncanny seems to get it worse, swinging across a wide breadth of varied styles while New X-Men mostly finds artists capable of continuing Frank Quitely's work. (Say what you will about X-Treme X-Men, but Larroca drew two years of that title straight with no fill-ins.)
It's far from the worst thing in the world, I suppose.
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