Monday, July 25, 2022

UNCANNY X-MEN #265: STORM


The Shadow King makes his move



Originally Published July 1990

We begin in spaaaaaace!


You're looking at the champion of the P!ndyr, a race heralded as the greatest warriors in the known galaxy. I'm not entirely sure what kind of wars they're fighting as a race of big scary naked dragons, but you know, we don't spend a lot of time on the complexities of their society. They've been approached by the Shi'ar -- our famous space buddies sometimes led by Lilandra, with whom the X-Men's founder Charles Xavier has a relationship -- to form an Alliance. The P!ndyr don't seem all that enticed, but you get the feeling that it's less of a suggestion and more like a potential conquest. 

But the Shi'ar are a pretty fair and reasonable Empire, so they have offered the P!ndyr the chance to win their freedom in single combat, since everyone knows tge Shi'ar can't resist the opportunity to let duels decide matters of cosmic importancd. Unfortunately for the P!ndyr, the Shi'ar seems to have some tricks up their sleeves, as the dragon-alien champion is defeated soundly by means of an insurmountable telepathic assault.


Seems unusually aggressive for our man Chuck, but maybe we just need to hear his side of the story.

Back on Earth, in Cairo, Il, Ororo has been a busy bee -- having been de-aged to her misspent youth as a thief on the streets of Cairo (the Egyptian one) she's reverted to type, burglarizing homes in something of a spree. In this case, she's pinched a huge some of money from one of those corporate raiders who stripmines smaller companies, who happens to have hit a rough patch and been reduced to acting as a banker for a major drug cartel, meaning not only does he have some serious dough on the premises, but it's going to be considered a serious oopsie when it turns up missing.


Young Ororo has also developing a set of mutant powers, which... she could use a bit more practice with.


Unbeknownst to her, of course, she's being watched by some familiar eyes...


That's right folks, like a dog with a bone Nanny is still around and on this "De-age everyone but then put them in adult-sized armored suits" kick. She completed phase one -- although the when, and the why Storm found her way to Illinois, is unclear -- and despite Orphan-Maker's objections she is preparing for phase two.

Later at the Mississippi Mall, Kid 'Ro eavesdrops on some local coppers who discuss last night's burglary. They seem to think they've got a modern-day Robin Hood on their hands, someone who takes from "bad guys" and gives it back to the community. 


Someone like that, they speculate, might be attracting a lot of unwanted attention... but hey, it beats working with that Jacob Reisz creep and that killer mutant case.

And speaking of whom, Jacob has been back in Washington, and he's made a new friend.


That's right, Jacob Reisz -- currently the host form of the malevolent psychic entity known as the Shadow King -- has ensnared and enslaved Dr. Val Cooper, Special Advisor to the President on Superhuman Affairs.

Also along is Dr. Lian Shen, the Shadow King's #1 slave gal, whose personality has been warped by his control into -- get ready for this -- a horny person. She literally cannot stop making the fuck-me eyes at this Frasier-looking mofo. And also, it looks like she's white now.

Shadow is interested in the Freedom Force, and is somewhat taken aback when Dr. Cooper reveals that Destiny was killed in battle recently. The Shadow King has the same thoughts on that that we all do (namely what's the point of seeing the future if you're just going to up and die) but nevertheless sends Val to put Mystique out of her misery so that he can turn his attention back to Storm.


In Cairo, Storm retires to her secret hideaway in a disused airplane, but is troubled in her sleep by visions of two forces fighting to control her -- the Shadow King and Nanny.


She wakes, but the waking world is no easier to understand. She's unsure what this place is -- Cairo but not Egypt and not a desert. Additionally, she's vexed by images of a fantastical vision of herself as a grown woman, surrounded by other strangely-garbed individuals.


Ororo decides that if she can't sleep, she might as well do something fun.

And speaking of fun, Shadow King has returned to Cairo, occupying the house of a man that his "investigator instincts" (as cribbed from Inspector Reisz) tell him is likely to be Ororo's next target, some big mover-shaker with an extensive collection of stolen art. King finds some time to deride the man's taste, knowing nothing about art (or fine wine for that matter) but relying on dealers to throw around money to procure items appropriate to his bank account.

What exactly these big money targets are doing in a town whose best days were nearly 100 years earlier, I couldn't tell you. 

To help him ensnare Ororo, he has reverted the Collector, his wife and their bodyguards to an animalistic state to be used as "Hounds."


He explains to a curious (but still horny) Lian that long ago, Ororo was "promised" to him, and that he means to have her after all this time.

Now, I'm reading this like "Dude, she's twelve," but... you know how it is. Comics.


As predicted, Storm arrives for what she thinks to herself will be her last caper, but just as she's unlocking the window she is attacked by The Hound That Was The Collector's Wife. As Ororo notes her foe's animalistic tendencies (and claws and fangs) they tumble through the skylight, and while Ororo is able to best her with a lamp to the skull, she soon finds the rest of the party waiting for her.


To be continued!

Further Thoughts:

After Mesmero, Mastermind, Proteus, Emma Frost, Dracula, Malice, Mojo, Selene, Kulan Gath, The Brood, Prettyboy, The Genoshans, Worm, and Nanny herself, The Shadow King is yet another mutant villain who toys with peoples' bodies and minds to exert his own power. So he's not special, but he makes a good go of distinguishing himself. One thing he does, which you are free to read into as you like, is take people who seem to have some real dignity -- a millionaire, a Doctor, a government bigwig -- and degrades them. This is a schtick that, for me, never gets old as losing one's individuality and uniqueness is a serious horror, in the superhero world where such things are possible. Ultimately that's what our mutants are fighting for, their right to self-determination and the pursuit of happiness on their own terms. It's a simple and basic, but fitting, metaphor, so pitting them against that in their adversaries never fails to get me.



2 comments:

  1. Horny Moira and now this chick with her butt pose. Not a fan of this art.

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  2. Loved this era when Claremont was building up to his big mutants/humans war (Shadow King Hounds look a lot like Rachel's past)... Too bad he never had the occasion to go all the way to his endgame.

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