What will happen when the X-Men learn the secret of Onslaught? Will they react favorably or what?
Originally Published August 1996
Whenever I have to begin in res, I like it to be in medias res.
Yes, it's a closer look at the famous video message from Jean Grey first seen in Uncanny #287 in 1992, when Bishop saw a version that was frustratingly light on specifics. As we already knew, there was some glitchiness in the video the first time we saw it, mostly missing a major chunk between "Professor Xavier" and "first to die."
Pretty glaring omission! |
As in the original, Jean makes referen e to both the "Blue and Gold" teams which honestly haven't been a thing in like... two or three years.
We watch the video until the famous part where Jean is murdered by an offscreen foe, then flash back 45 minutes to "now" as the Professor, feeling sulky and reflective, has summoned his X-Men, saying "Come to me, my X-Men."
The team is a little confuzzled as to why the search for Juggernaut, one of their most powerful and deadly foes (who has never killed one of them or successfully levied his power against them in many years) has been called off. Jean, however, knows a little something about what's about to happen, but keeps it to herself so as to maintain the element of surprise against the world's foremost telepathic mind.
As Jean recaps everything that has brought us to this moment -- in case your first X-Men comic ever happens to be this double-priced glossy prestige one-shot -- while the Prof goes on a delirious rant about how the entire X-Men project has been a failure and it's time to get nasty.
While the Professor goes on and on, Jean attempt to probe into his mind to see if the man she knew is truly there inside. Unfortunately, much like the old Taylor Swift, he can't come to the phone right now, and when the other X-Men are distracted by Jean being abruptly put out of commission, they miss the sudden arrival of...
What an entrance |
The heroes demand to know what this mystery man has done with Charles, but Onlaught tells them they've got it backwards: it was Charles who "did" something -- by creating Onslaught! He is the rage and frustration at all of Charles' failed goals and useless attempts at peaceful resolution. No more hope and change, now it's time for a big, jacked spiky monster guy!
Wolverine suspects there is more to the story than that, and Onslaught says "Yeah, but I'm not telling."
And furthermore, as the X-Men hear him out as he makes his pitch for world domination (it's only the polite thing to do) Cyclops points out that Onslaught is talking less like Xavier and more like Magnto, an accusation Mr. Slaught finds particularly insulting.
Cyclops manages to land a surprise zark of optic blast across Onslaught's chin, but Onslaught shrugs it off, saying that the only reason they're not already all dead is that as a being who is at least half-Xavier -- and he's not saying that there is another half, but if there is, it's still not important as the Xavier half, whomever it is -- he has a special affection for his students and hopes they will join him on his maniacal crusade.
But, you know, he's got errands to run, so he leaves the team pinned to the floor so that they can have time to think about it.
They escape when Gambit takes the initiative to charge the floor and blow the whole room up, which is not well-received but when all you have is a hammer...
When they have enough time for some exposition, Jean informs them that yes, she did recently have an encounter with Onslaught, but now she's starting to think that his whole rant was Xavier trying to sabotage him from within. She regrets not informing the team sooner but in her defense it's been a hell of a busy day.
While they puzzle out whether they are going to war with their mentor or trying to save him (or both!) Cyclops declares the first order of business to cut off some of Onslaught's resources by trashing the Professor's computer files. In all this, Bishop has a lightbulb moment about his search for the X-Traitor.
As the heroes spring into action, the Darkened version of Beast wonders whether he's found himself on the wrong side of this conflict.
Meanwhile in beautiful Manhattan, New York, the Fantastic Four are having a typical morning with Reed puzzling over toaster repair (what, is it Homer Simpson's time travel toaster?) and little Franklin chatting with his latest imaginary friend.
None of these highly experienced -- indeed legendary -- superheroes are at all concerned that young, reality-warping Franklin is having a very involved conversation with an imaginary friend he insists is there. Nor are they concerned about Franklin insisting that a glass/pitcher full of orange liquid is milk.
I have a few theories about that:
- It is milk from an extradimensional creature that just happens to be orange in color (high in nutrients though)
- Due to the FF constantly battling Annihilus and whatnot and not having time to pick up groceries, It has somehow expired to the point where it has taken on an orange-ish hue (ew, don't drink it)
- Franklin is so dumb he thinks all beverages are called "milk."
Anyway, "Lil Charlie" is kind of annoyed that Dum-Dum Franklin isn't getting the gist of what he's saying about joining forces.
Half of the X-Men go to disable the Professor's computers, discovering his interest in Franklin and the mysterious X-Man. Cannonball, who is not doing his reputation for incompetence any favors, has a freakout about how powerful and omnipotent Onslaught is and how hopeless even fighting him is.
Onslaught re-appears to menace the X-Men again. When Wolverine re-ups the note that Onslaught really seems to have more Magneto in him than Xavier, the big red and purple guy flips out and uses his fabulous telepathic powers to make the room explode and go one another rant.
Meanwhile, Sexy Nate X-Man has met the Avengers. They're underwhelmed by his dire warnings of doom to come.
The Avengers do become convinced they should go visit the X-Men, but it may be too late as the whole team lies dead as a bunch of bowling pins. Onslaught has Bishop in his clutches and brags that none of this would have been possible had he not seen the possibilities in Bishop's mind from the remnants of the Age of Apocalypse.
#inspo |
Next we check in on the Scott-Jean-Iceman-Beast contingent of the X-Men as they download the Cerebro files before Xavionslaught can make any further use of them. Beast is pretty impressed, but everyone else is like "Dude we've all known about these forever, what did you get replaced by an evil doppelganger from a parallel reality or something?" Ha ha, as if.
Onslaught arrives -- his presence sensed by Iceman who is seeing things in terms of room temperature rather than Jean's psychic abilities which Onslaught can easily evade, in a nice nod to Bobby's increasing power. The O4-out-of-5 are, however, no match for the big man...
Especially since one of them is ready and eager to bend the knee -- which comes as no surprise to Slaught, since he has been masking Beast's subterfuge telepathically since he got here (they live with like four telepaths after all.)
Honestly, did you even think this through? |
Onslaught makes a bid to unlock some of Jean's Phoenix power....
But she resists and he kind of gives up. He commands Beast to dispose of the bodies, which he sees as a waste but he is in the kowtowing business these days, so, you know.
Unfortunately, Jean escapes to the Z'Nox chamber and manages to fire off her big message, which as we know results in her getting blasted, but at the fateful moment just after the camera stops rolling...
That's right, it's time for some big damn heroes!
They take the fight to their foe...
And for a moment it seems as though they've succeeded: by all their powers combined, they've felled Onslaught and, it seems, unfortunately had to sacrifice their mentor.
But did you think he was going down that easily? His name's not on the front cover for nothing. It's a psychic misdirection only Bishop can see (because Onslaught can't resist bragging and showboating) as Onslaught prepares his killshot.
Bishop, whose ability to absorb all forms of energy also somehow extends to the psychic kind I guess, leaps in to shield his teammates.
And thus, Bishop manages to prevent the thing he has been trying to stop since he arrived -- and also inadvertently almost caused. What a world!
Onslaught, as seems to be his pattern, gives up and leaves to fight another day.
Once Bishop comes-to, the X-Men gather everything they know about Onslaught, which is not much: he either is one with, or was created by-but-distinct-from, Xavier. He also does not like any connection being drawn between himself and Magneto. Lastly, to stop him, they may have to kill Xavier.
But as our view switches to a Sentinel plant somewhere in unsuspecting the heartland of America, it's clear that this fight is just getting started.
Further Thoughts:
Let's start with the good. Four years earlier, as the character of Bishop was getting established, it was revealed that somewhere in the X-Men's (not-too-distant) future, they would be betrayed by one of their own. Onslaught was not even a concept at that point, but the hints we were given were vague enough that it was not that difficult to reverse-engineer that revelation to tie in with this. I say "not difficult" but that doesn't mean I'm not impressed, as the whole thing seems relatively seamless and a real treat for longtime readers as a result. Seamless that is, unless you start asking questions like why does nobody else remember a big maniacal purple guy launching a campaign of world domination at that same time.
Onslaught is a big event, that's for sure. Everything about it feels huge in a way that previous big X-overs like X-Cutioner's Song and the Phalanx Covenant even didn't: it has its roots years earlier, ties together a ton of previous moments like Xavier's mindwipe of Magneto, and even the Age of Apocalypse, looks to tie in heroes from all corners of the Marvel Universe (when was the last time that happened?) and has the weight of Professor X finally doing what everyone eventually thought he would do and break bad.
But of course the closer you look at it, the more problems you see. The big question: What does Onslaught even want and how does he hope to accomplish it, seem like they would be easy to answer but are a little dicier. The entire issue is him slapping the X-Men with his phenomenal psychic power and then getting slapped back and going "Okay, well, I'm leaving, see you later." It's an occasion where it would really be better if it were clear somebody -- Onslaught, Lobdell, Waid -- had a plan. He is the definition of a generic doomsday villain, with the vaguest sketches of means and motives. Okay, he wants to lash out at everything Xavier has failed to do, and he wants to rule the world similarly to the way Apocalypse ruled his, and he wants to kill the X-Men but maybe he doesn't. And is he part Magneto, or is he something else? The cards are being played close to the vest but it feels less like "we have a big reveal coming for you" and more like "we just don't know so we're not going to say either way."
So look, if you're prone to over-analyzing these things you will have a lot to get hung up on with this comic and, I don't doubt, those to follow. But if you're into the bluster and chaos and sturm und drang of a big action-packed comics -- which is ultimately what X-Men is trying to sell you in this era -- this still kind of hits as the X-Men are effectively up against the wall and facing their toughest foe in a long time.
Ultimately, comics live and die by convincing readers "This is a big important story you can't miss" and few major events have done that as completely as Onslaught. For its muddled message set against its massive hype, it feels like the apex of the 90's at Marvel for better and worse.
"so as to maintain the element of surprise against the world's foremost telepathic mind."
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