X-MEN #71: A House in Order

The X-Men have a day to themselves

Originally Published January 1998

We begin in meditation...

...specifically Jean using her telekinetic powers to float upside-down while she has a think about things, mentally preparing herself for the long flight she and her husband are about to take as they step back from the X-Men. 

Which seems cool to look at but I feel like it would cause a lot of blood to rush to your head and be uncomfortable but what do I know, huh? 

She spends a page or two thinking over the recent haps, working to purge the psychic residue of Bastion and his goons from the grounds (I'll leave the debate over whether robots and part-robots even have psychic residue to you, the true fans.) 

She also spares a moment to think of Rogue, who has turned inward after the revelations of Gambit's treachery -- even though he wasn't an X-Man when the acts were committed and he was, like, super sorry about it.

Her contemplation is interrupted when Cyclops experiences pain from his recent operation, unsettling her through their psychic rapport. She asks if he's okay, but he just rolls over and goes back to sleep. Just like a man amiright ladies?

Downstairs at breakfast, all the hoity-toity surface-dwellers are really scandalized to find out that Marrow, who grew up in a sewer and/or terror dimension with a different concept of time, is lacking in table manners.

She then picks off some of her bone growths for a laugh, grossing out some of the X-People but fascinating those with medical degrees -- getting Cecilia weirdly hot in the process.

Be careful how you Freudian slip around this guy, in another universe he's Frasier

There's more bickering as the Morlock makes a mess and Maggott spills a bunch of South African slang all over the place.

Outside, we find Logan and Storm, who preaches giving the newbies the benefit of the doubt despite their rough edges. But speaking of rough edges, it hasn't escaped Logan that Storm is, shall we say, keeping Marrow at arm's length (any closer and they might start stabbing each other again.)

Jean sneaks in, unable to evade Logan's senses despite being downwind and floating off the ground, because he's just that type of weirdo who always knows where she is. The trio uncover Storm's old tiara, lockpicks, and some coinage she "liberated," which represents the extent of the X-Men's liquid assets at this time. Jean notes that despite being an X-Person for many years, Storm still plays it close to the vest, which is about as good of a read on Ororo as any writer has had in the last eight years.

Also, I don't know if this is intentional or not, but she used to wear a vest

While a bunch of the crew gears up to go into town for coffee and other sundries, Marrow arrives to ruin everyone's day again by baiting Ororo into a fight.

Meanwhile in Venice, Sebastian Shaw has re-formed the Hellfire Club or whatever, and he gets a secretive message that eeps him out some, delivered by a clockstopping messenger.

At the mansion, Logan has a 1:1 with Cyclops about the direction the X-Men organization is about to take in his absence, given they're now harboring a murderous terrorist, a self-loathing pacifist, and worst of all, Maggott. Logan is skeptical they can keep it together. Cyclops points out that this is the kind of thing Charles did all the time, including for Logan himself.

Logan retorts that the recipients of Charles' beneficence not-infrequently tried to murder people here.

In Salem Center, the X-Gang are meandering about, with Cecilia predictably moping about how her medical career is going down the tubes, when they happen upon one of those convenient electronics stores with 10 TVs in the window you used to always see, blasting the news that... the Heroes are Back.

Somehow, the Heroes Returned

At the mansion, the two ranking X-Men, Wolverine and Storm, discuss facts, with Storm quoting Michael Jordan: "F**k them kids."

Speaking of Storm, in Cairo, some guy is in a big hurry to send a package to Ororo before he is attacked by "Ananasi," which I think is what you get when the West African Trickster Anansi gets crossed with a French pineapple.

We do have fun with words here at Uncanny X-Cerpts

Back in America, Maggott and Cannonball continue to bicker while Cecilia has finally obtained quality coffee and is thus pacified. Also, I think Maggott's slugs eat a dude??

Just straight up ate him for being unhoused. 

Returning to the mansion, Cyclops and Jean are ready for their big flight (which is actually not until, at the earliest, 5 AM the next day as we've seen in the simultaneous issue of Uncanny.) Jean mentions that while she had been having doubts, those fears have been allayed by the convenient timing of the return of the Avengers and Fantastic Four and all them. She now believes the X-Men will be all right, even though they all f**king hate each other right now.

Once mom and dad are safely out of the driveway, Wolverine pops down to Marrow's dungeon to let her know that it's f**king on.

Further Thoughts: 

We don't know yet for sure how the Joe Kelly and Steve Seagle-written issues of X-Men are going to look on average, but this one greatly resembled one of those Scott Lobdell post-event comics where the X-Men are going about their business feeling their feelings. There was an abundance of little moments pushing the various narratives that Kelly has for each of the characters, and while there is not a lot of action and excitement in this issue, if you like the characters and are intrigued as to how they fit together, this could be considered a winner. A lot of attention is paid to what the X-Men are about and how they move forward and what all these people are meant to do and be together, particularly from the vantage point of (seemingly-)exiting character Jean. 

When posting about this period of X-Men I've encountered an astonishing amount of support for the newbies: people have fond memories of Maggott, Marrow and perhaps even Dr. Reyes, whether because they just started reading X-Men in 1997-98, or because it was a welcome breath of fresh air after a relatively lengthy stable period on the roster (other than Joseph, who may or may not be Magneto, and Cannonball, who was created in the early 80's, there hadn't been a new X-Man since Bishop.) They may not be front and center on every page of this comic, but they are much-discussed and are the main going concern. Which is fine, although I think Rogue, who gets an off-hand mention as processing the fallout from the Trial of Gambit, is short-changed, perhaps because it's harder to dramatize her internal conflict than the very overt external conflicts going on with this troop.

I've made my feelings clear about Cecilia, but she's the least present in this story. Marrow exists purely to cause chaos and discord amongst the X-Men, so take in as you may. Maggott, I feel, is still in search of his place. He got a really strong "mystery man" intro, but has not been able to shine since actually linking up with the team and has largely been shunted into comedy territory, especially with his obnoxious overuse of south African slang. It's like if Gambit showed up, and instead of besting Wolverine in the Danger Room, he threw two cards and Logan simply said "That's stupid, your power is dumb," followed by Gambit saying "Laissez les bon temps roullez" five times.

We don't yet know what the future holds for the X-Men, but it's going to be a busy one, as something like four or five subplots are set-up in cutaways between this issue and Uncanny #351. We'll play it out and see how it goes, if these characters fly or fall.